Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I visited a friend and her new baby. The baby had a tight constrictive headband and a clearly wet cloth nappy on. I tried to give some friendly advice on why this was bad, but she shot me down, saying what would I know, I don't have a kid. She's 17 and I'm a 26-year-old practicing midwife. FML
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML
Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
shutupmichaela 18
I agree, your life socks. (Anyone? No? I'll let myself out.)
AnOriginalName 19
Just walk away, OP. Just walk away.
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Comments (50)
goliatron 9
You're a real knitwit, OP.
chosha_fml 27
I thought the hormonal stage was early on. Apparently it's lasted longer in her case.
an3ph 20
She's pregnant. All rules don't apply.
sugarbear0727 19
From experience, I know that pregnant women are very emotional. Hell, I'm still emotional and my son's a month old. I bawled my eyes out the day I got home from the hospital cause I couldn't find my bra.
nurchok 15
When women are pregnant, some get very sensitive to certain things including random innocent words. Don't mind it OP, just apologise and say something nice, but be careful with the choice of words. Best of luck and hope the baby comes out OK - with normal 2 feet :)
Siant 4
Lol
papabear88 6
serves you right
katie1989 9
Tell her to grow a pair. I was pregnant and hormonal but THATS just being an idiot.
spookycat32 6
I think your comment was awesome!!!
DLBL 23
If a flippant comment puts her into a spiral, she's got to learn coping skills.