Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I visited a friend and her new baby. The baby had a tight constrictive headband and a clearly wet cloth nappy on. I tried to give some friendly advice on why this was bad, but she shot me down, saying what would I know, I don't have a kid. She's 17 and I'm a 26-year-old practicing midwife. FML
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML
Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shutupmichaela 18
I agree, your life socks. (Anyone? No? I'll let myself out.)
AnOriginalName 19
Just walk away, OP. Just walk away.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
JustStella 28
Gotta be careful with those pregnant women, OP. I joked with my cousin once about how her new giant milkshakes will bring all the boys to the yard. She accused me of calling her a cow and pushed me so hard my tailbone hurt for week.
SuperSofie 23
This really made me laugh out loud :D
AtomicDiamond87 15
Sensative much?
Jake_Hale 7
*sensitive And it's understandable she's emotional right now due to her pregnancy.
michelleJ11 25
When a woman is pregnant, her hormones are crazy. She's not being sensitive, she can't help it.
threer 30
I doubt she's usually 'sensative'.
sarahmb98 8
She's just overreacting and being dramatic. Tell her that everything will be fine and that the baby will only have two feet, and it's out of everyone's control how many feet the baby has. If she doesn't get over it, then stop giving her attention and just walk away, leave her to sulk alone until she realizes how stupid she's being.
michelleJ11 25
She's pregnant... Her hormones are way out of whack. It's not her fault that she's sensitive.
Treveyon56 14
The hormones of a pregnant woman can be hard to deal with, no offense. Just let things calm down and be careful what you say next time.
DocBastard 40
Good grief, how tall IS it?
tomatosz 23
Phew, I'm not the only one who thought of length rather than body parts. Which is odd considering we use meters here...
starile 20
So do you pronounce your user name "to-MAH-toes" instead of "to-MAY-toes"?
dontkilljay 14
She was probably raped by a squid and doesn't know how to tell anyone. Just be there for her, OP. She'll appreciate it in the future.
cbroady0529 9
Lol poor thing! Just understand that she's got so many hormones running through her she can barely function, and if it's her first baby she could easily already be fearful that it will be deformed without any outside joking. You're not in the wrong at all, just try to be sympathetic rather than annoyed :)
etishuman22 32
Humor and heavily pregnant women overflowing with hormones do not mix...usually. I'm sure there are exceptions! You guys will laugh about this after her baby is born. :)
JhovannyA 7
I found the sense of humor in your reply OP. sorry about your friend. Hope she feels better soon.
bhou56 7
Well, now you know that humor and pregnancy are not compatible and can avoid similar situations in the future!