Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I visited a friend and her new baby. The baby had a tight constrictive headband and a clearly wet cloth nappy on. I tried to give some friendly advice on why this was bad, but she shot me down, saying what would I know, I don't have a kid. She's 17 and I'm a 26-year-old practicing midwife. FML
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML
Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
shutupmichaela 18
I agree, your life socks. (Anyone? No? I'll let myself out.)
AnOriginalName 19
Just walk away, OP. Just walk away.
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Comments (50)
The_Paladin 16
she will find it funny when the pregnancy hormones calm down.
crisanba 18
I'm confused.....
Enslaved 38
Are you sure she wasn't crying because you referred to her baby as an "it"? :P
supernaturalcat 12
Sorry OP but those hormones do make for a roller coaster ride when your pregnant. When I was pregnant I cried at commercials. I'm sure you'll laughs out this... Someday. :)
Reesienpiper 4
I did too... My little one is 4 months and I still catch myself tearing up lol
supernaturalcat 12
*laugh about
Reesienpiper 4
Pregnancy hormones do that to people... I bet she loves a good Hallmark commercial :)
RedPillSucks 33
There are some jokes you just don't tell.
graceinsheepwear 34
I agree. Birth defect jokes, for example.
AshesNicole623 17
Try not to beat yourself up too much. Pregnant ladies are crazy. I would know; I've gone through two of them.
xpheonix57 7
This is quite possibly the best thing I've ever read. Gotta love those pregnancy hormones, OP!
fabforever 10
It's a striped sweater the best type of sweater for you and me!!