Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
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Top comments
ashl123 19
You should really date smarter people
SoNotForYou 5
Dump her... Really what's the point if she won't talk to you?
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Comments (199)
Gherazz 0
Play a cruel, sadistic prank then dump her
Whocarez 10
She's an idiot. The bad omen is u realizing it to late. Dump her dumb ass
Shadow_Phantom 26
On one hand, he might be trying to trick her; on the other, he may be entirely right. Decisions, decisions...
eva_baby25 4
Just don't talk to her for a month, she'll see your not trying and start talking to you again
ZielZone 4
Just dump her... Who needs a reason??
iamabamf 17
Well, looks like her friend's a douche who wants her and she's an idiot. If I were you, I'd play along.
irishman1989 0
Dump her for being retarded
helpme37 0
She said that so she could go Out with sancho and not have you calling her.
rayraynmarsh 1
Explian to her that shes rly dumb n then have angry make up sex cuz after telling her that shes gonna b pretty upset hahah
KiddNYC1O 22
I think you're equally dumb.
Pazu_fml 10
Exactly. The douche who made the prediction can go ahead and be all smug about how he was "right", but so long as you get them both out of your life and don't have to deal with it, that's good enough, right?