Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
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Top comments
ashl123 19
You should really date smarter people
SoNotForYou 5
Dump her... Really what's the point if she won't talk to you?
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Comments (199)
Jvd0528 0
Uhh, dump her for being both gullible and stupid?
fabcade 14
Who cares. Dump her for both reasons or maybe this astrologist friend has a card up his sleeve. He could be tryin to get your girl.
jayystephaniee 9
" I got 99 problems and this bitch is one" hahaha
faysophie 2
It's over use the month to move on she's probably with the other guy already
Imachillifilliz 2
Well, if you were to dump her, her friend would be right, right?
piccalo 4
U dont need to dump her.u got a great virtue.u can change ur gf mind as u like simply by using an astrologist.
TheDorianMode 8
Sounds like a pretty smart plan to me, actually. She gets to hook up with this guy for a month without you knowing while she feeds you some bullshit excuse that makes you think she's stupid so that you'll ignore her and therefore fail to pick up on her devious, twisted sex plot. Conspiracies, man. They're everywhere...
TheGothGamerGirl 20
Looks like dumping her is the bad omen.
Voldy_fml 16
She's dumb and you better dump.
smdjr61 0
You know the answer.