Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
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Top comments
ashl123 19
You should really date smarter people
SoNotForYou 5
Dump her... Really what's the point if she won't talk to you?
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Comments (199)
BestestMama 6
Cos she's stupid.
hateevryone 15
just dump her. she's stupid
kill_me_now7 2
Meh... Who cares the reason at this point shes too dumb to ask for it
islander03 5
The astrologist was right!!! Bad Omen #1 = the dump. Then the crying, then the crazy ex girlfriend revenge ... Brace yourself
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
How about kickin the astro-asshole-who's-hitting-on-your-girl's ass!! Then party for a couple of weeks!
MyloXylotoGirl 0
Haha dump her >.
WorldsGhost 2
Dump her, and kick his ass. Sounds like he's trying to steal her.
dansco 25
Dump her now before that idiot tells her you name is connected to the devil or some shit!
joee182 3
hes trying to hit that thats why he said that bs
faaackmylife 5
dump her, if she cares more about what her friend says than you, she's not worth it.