Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I went to my class as usual. I've had my eyes on one guy for a year now. A new girl came in and he was talking about her with his friends when my friend suggested me instead of her. He took a glance at me before turning back into the conversation making the same face I did when I saw a disintegrated frog that'd been run over. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
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Top comments
GoldLeader 19
You sure know how to pick them!
alexanderavatar 24
what do you see in him?
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Comments (78)
lavieestbelle_fml 11
picking your nose is one thing but flinging your boogers comes close to chimpanzees flinging their faesces...
Aimeejasmine 15
Faesces...
blahblah005 16
u sure picked a winner
littleking94 14
soooo this must be a 5th grade class?
Jayroc 18
Keep it classy Santiago!!
EarlFug 19
I've offended people in many ways but flinging boogers? This is not a stable individual.
afallingstar 22
You picked a winner there...(yeah I know it's been said.)
abNormal62 23
She thinks he's creepy? Tell her it's snot true!!!!
trey600rr 22
you have bad taste in men!
nightmare3335 10
I mean at least he wont have a chance with those girls now.
Eternal_Insanity 12
I feel you, my ex was always "that boy", running down the hallway pretending to be an airplane, making fart jokes, etc.
McFlyingmonkeys 6
I really don't see a problem here, you know these types make the best fathers right?
Aimeejasmine 15
Who said she wanted him to father her child lmao he doesn't make a good fling