Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Teenage riot
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Kinda deserved it
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
That one weird kid
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Unfair
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Top comments
drbobbz 16
Take away his computer then. At least make it boring for him
flurpiee 14
Better than bullying, I guess o.o
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Comments (260)
flurpiee 14
Better than bullying, I guess o.o
Nasir_Jones 12
Give him an ass whooping!!
Venasaur1 9
Well OP, sounds like it's time for a serious intervention of some kind.
Laxinitup 18
Hmm I am not so sure, he is going to be "beating" something. That could be considered bullying even if it is to himself...
countingstairs 16
#36 That might just turn him on..
RenGo_fml 5
It might be something he takes pleasure in though... One of those kinks.
kingdomgirl94 29
Disconnect the internet and take away his phone when he's at home. You wanna be a smart ass? Guess who loses his tech privleges.
hystericsky 11
Take his door too. I've had a few friends who have lost their privacy privileges by their parents literally unhinging their doors.
Jiplo 18
I know that that does work from experience. When I was young, my dad do that to me, even for relatively menial "offenses."
spoo 24
Remove the door to his room :o
mwangi101 15
He's just saying that so she lifts the punishment. he'll hate it after hours
drbobbz 16
Take away his computer then. At least make it boring for him
loooloool 13
You forgot the part were you add Legos everywhere in his room
Flowtastic 16
I say take away his bedroom door and/or plaster pictures of elderly family members around his room and force him to keep a nightlight on. :)
arsinic 18
Change the wifi password!
MrsDruidess 23
I like he door idea!
fader48080 10
Who gets access to a computer when grounded? outside if school work whenever I was grounded the only thing I was ever allowed was books. not comic boos not magazines novels that's it. wasn't even allowed to use the radio setting on my alarm clock to wake up to.
awks101 4
What is grounding a child really gonna do??? -_- you gotta learn different tactics
Welshite 40
Grounding works, but it really depends on the parents follow-through with the punishment. It's also important to ground him from the things that matter most to him. For example, my parents tried grounding me from social events. I didn't care. Eventually they got the bright idea of grounding me from recreational books, and I was devastated. Never wanted that to happen again.
PAsurvivor 15
Well said. Punish the kid where it will bother him the most. It's important for kids to learn not to bully, teach him a real lesson.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#26 I agree with you completely you have to take away something that he enjoys doing video games, watching t.v. or anything else that he may like because obviously him having to stay home isn't any sweat of his back.
sweetest_jenn 18
Exactly. If you're opposed to corporal punishment, sign him up for community services, make him volunteer at an animal shelter, or do yard work for elderly neighbors. He doesn't get to sit around and stew like a useless piece of meat. How's that teaching him a lesson?
illegalbeagle69 23
My psychology professor said he was a smart child and he would always talk about how much he loved and enjoyed his computer when he actually didn't care for it at all. That way when he got in trouble his parents took away his computer and not something he really liked ha.
thatrandomchick2 4
I got grounded all the time too. The last time I got grounded was from recreational reading. Haven't got I trouble since.
CelticSkye 13
Grounding worked very well for me. I tended to only do the bad thing once and learned my lesson. Wheb my parents grounded me, it wasn't just to my room, it was also from stuff as well. I've always loved to read and I knew when I had really pissed my parents off, because they would take my books away. if I were the OP, I would clear out tge ku day room. No phone, television, computer, books...everything. Leave only the bed and then take the door so the snot nosed brat couldn't even jack off as planned
falon142012 22
I understand exactly what all of you mean. When my friends got grounded, they had to sit in their rooms and read. When I got grounded, I got my books taken away. I was horrified and behaved after that. Yay for smart kids!
diaspora_fml 26
Assigning a bully to an animal shelter is bizarrely ill-advised unless your goal is to provide discreet mutilation training.
Moochi456 20
The only punishment that ever had even a little effect on me was spankings. My mom would always ground me from electronics or toys but I would always say "Okay! I'm going to go read then!!!" Stomp into my room, make it obvious I got a book and start reading in the door way. I knew my mom wouldn't take away my books. I'm surprised to hear all these parents that took away reading for a punishment. My mom never did it because reading is good for you unlike video games.
JazNim17 18
My mom's tactic with my little brother was, "If it has a screen on it, don't think about it." He was such a tv junkie as a kid that would terrify him. For me, she used to take all of my music away. Grounding on works when it's that kid's favorite thing that's been taken away, but then it does pretty well.
thief1434 23
My parents once banned me from the internet, electronics, and books. It was a dark time.
Brandi_Faith 34
I also think That grounding him for a year is ridiculous. The chances of the parent actually following through with that is slim and discipline is all about follow through! Find what they like and take that away, take the door as well maybe but whatever you do, do it for a reasonable amount of time that you can actually stick to.
abzray123 7
A red, swollen sore dick as punishment :)
brmsnipes 8
Calm down Satan.
lexiieeex3 32
I'd really like to see him try to jerk off so often and not get seriously injured at 14. Seriously just man up, take the punishment, and don't be a bully.
DarkSaul 20
You made him another thing to beat up and bully.
eaglerob 20
Take his door off the hinges.
kaablam 17
And limit his bathroom time...
strike2867 13
That could backfire...
Not_Impressed13 9
Chili powder in the lotion..
alex_gen 39
But then he'll just jack off while staring straight at her.
kingdomgirl94 29
My dad took my door off my hinges when I was younger because I kept closing the door at night ( not locking), which apparently is dangerous according to him. The only reason I closed it at night was because I'd taken to sleeping topless and have 3 brothers. Guess that never occurred to him. I ended up replacing the door with curtains to get my privacy in the end. My point is, privacy is needed sometimes, even if not to beat off. Where would he get dressed if he didn't have a bedroom door? Also: There's no way that without material to use that he has enough imagination and stamina to jerk off all day everyday.
Aky0n 10
What makes you think he doesn't have the imagination? Its not that difficult....trust me.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#88 A good reference to a previous FML. I honestly don't know why your getting voted down (unless people just forgot).
trell000 13
Or at the dinner table without anyone noticing.
JazNim17 18
He can get dressed in the bathroom. My uncle took his daughter's bedroom door down when she was 16 because he discovered she had sneaked a boyfriend into the house. She got dressed in the bathroom for a couple of months and it didn't hurt anything.
neppy 6
Yeah I find the "take his door away" replies really ******* weird. Not to mention doors can be pretty expensive. Unless you've got a good handyman around the house you're going to have to hire somebody to remove and then replace the door. Grounding a kid as punishment is pointless anyway. Making them volunteer or do community service work would be way more effective.
JaneChemi_fml 21
#229 you only need to take out 9 screws. I learned how to remove a door at 15. it's really not that hard.
Duros1123 6
#229 you don't even have to take out screws on most doors, just pop out the hinge pin, easy take easy replace. Children nowadays don't realize that privacy is a privelage offered by parents, my dad used to take my door so he could make sure I wasn't doin what I wasn't supposed to when I was grounded.
random_stuff 15
If my parents had threatened to take my door off as a teenager, I would have retaliated with "Right, so you want to catch me masturbating?". Never got to that point (I was a fairly good kid), but my dad would've been mortified to know that his youngest daughter rubbed one out, and my stepmom would have just backed away, scarred. Hell, maybe the two would have had reversed reactions. Anyway, taking away Manga and Xbox sufficed for them.
ibanghellokitty 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
TELL EVERYBODY AT HIS SCHOOL THAT YOU'RE SON (name of son) FAPS! That'll teach him. >:)
littlekellilee 45
He'd go from bully to bullied.
zBLAKEz 23
Except that every guy does that so you can't really make fun of him for it... Oh, and *your. It's bad enough when someone says your when they mean you're, but it's even worse when someone says you're when they mean your because that means they're actually trying to be grammatically correct and they're still failing. It also means they have no idea how contractions work.
laden_swallow09 35
12- Exactly. Perfect lesson, I'd say.
blazingshot147 19
Plot twist: he bullies people who jack off and openly admit it.
tvwrestler98 14
your***
pooldude 24
hey genius almost all teenagers fap! and yah learn some English!
thatnucca 36
Hide the toilet paper and shredder too please...
graceinsheepwear 34
shredder?
False_Stupidity 42
It's a reference from an older FML.
Baucis 10
His forearms are going to be huge.
_G0D_ 9
Will he eat a lot of spinach too?
martin8337 36
Like Popeye.
livamour 17
Probably only one of them
MomentoMori 23
"Grounding" does nothing. Take everything away from him. Hell, treat him like he treated that kid at school. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
hokie16 13
I don't think bullying him back will do much. He needs a little humility!
mangoboy1 19
I just imagined a mom yelling at her son in the morning"get up phaggot", showing up at school to take his lunch money and then push him, and giving him wet willies
laden_swallow09 35
25- Isn't that what being bullied will do to the bully, put him in his place?
chinaski7628 32
I'm against bullying the bully because bullies tend to have low self-esteem and are insecure-- and have no sense of boundaries (or empathy). It wouldn't really solve the issue at hand and could make it worse. He needs consequences for his actions-- like things he cares about being taken away. And while I'm loathe to suggest volunteering as a punishment, it may do him some good to work with people more disadvantaged than him, like at a homeless shelter or with children with disabilities. Of course, depending on the circumstances of the bullying, this could back fire.
hokie16 13
#43 It could, but I think there are better ways to do it than bullying. Trying to teach a bully not to bully by bullying him isn't really going to teach him anything. (I know how awfully that was worded, but I think it gets the point across well.)
ileenefudge 29
Have him stand on the street corner of a busy intersection (where you can still keep and eye on him and watch him) holding a sign that says he's a bully and he likes to bully other kids. It may seem extreme but I've heard it works with some. He may have low self esteem but that is probably his own fault for being a bully if he's in a good home (assuming he's not in an abusive family ect.)We learn at a young age to be respectful of others and if he's doing it just to get attention then let's see how he feels when he actually gets that attention even if it isn't the exact attention he's looking for. He WILL care if he sees that everyone, and I mean everyone is looking down at his behavior and might prompt him to stop being a bully. I also would like to add that this should probably be a last resort depending on how bad it is getting/gotten and yes I am well aware if the risks of this, knowing he could be bullied ect. Which is why I said it would be best as a last resort. Sorry it's a long post.
katties 27
#54 No, actually, that bullies have low self esteem is not true. Bullies often have some kind of problems at home, but they're pretty happy about themselves when they bully people - it makes them feel empowered to see that they can manipulate others and play with their emotions. We're often told that we need to "feel sorry" for the bully because they're insecure, but really, we need to feel sorry for them because they haven't learned empathy and the value of other people
junkman6 22
My nephew got in trouble for being a bully at school once. I say once because after his older brother found out he got "grounded" over and over and asked how it felt to be helpless and be bullied. He apologized to the kid he was bullying without being told and has never bullied anyone since. Sometimes an old fashioned ass kicking is better than all the bullshit psycho babble in the world.
dbeatty 12
no one bothered to mention the fact that it is immoral and illegal for an adult to be bullying a minor? Really?