Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
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Top comments
astoryofroses 9
karma
olpally 33
never test your dad's brain power... he knows way more than you do about how to pull off a prank.
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Comments (120)
coolbrony12 3
Your dad is awesome
TrueTriage 16
Ah he beat you by a second. Good try dude good try
unknown_user5566 27
What did you expect, OP? The apple must not fall far from the tree- you had to learn your pranks from someone. Next time, pour the salt in YOUR drink. That way he will still end up with the contaminated one. :)
kmt12890 5
Did your dad teach you that?
thatnucca 36
Father: Son, i wasn't born yesterday... While you're at it, get some saltines to go with that...
AznSamoan52 10
You have an awesome dad, Op. I wish my dad were like that. Dad FTW!!!!!!
hockeykyle10 5
Learn from the master
greenie213 23
For his birthday buy him different colored mugs so you can tell if your getting the salty coffee. Use your brains! Or my brains, as the case may be.
AwsumShyGuy 12
I read it as "poured a load of shit into his drink." I was very confused reading that at first.
fahd4life 1
Owned...
vbmg152 19
YDI! Ha ha ha!