Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
astoryofroses 9
karma
olpally 33
never test your dad's brain power... he knows way more than you do about how to pull off a prank.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
blutigenbonbon 10
Your dad is a friggin boss :D!!
steph97v05 11
Trolled.
Jasonf6 0
Haha, got you bitch! :)
shakespearelove 6
lol, owned by your own father. x) dont worry, dude. my mother has owned me many times. x)
HeartOfLead 24
"Not with those wrinkles!" Ah, the good ole days.
KillPrince 6
Sh¡T you lose:p
facepalm4evry1 2
that's some funny there, better then the other fml on here. but i wouldn't call this a fml , don't worry you'll get one prank over him eventually.
vicktoriahart 2
Haha he does something nice and this is how you treat him?? Haha
IllyriaSaxon 3
I love your father.
klx125cross 9
U have a wise father OP