Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML
Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, while 9 months pregnant, I was sleeping soundly for once, cuddling with my cat, having a nice dream… until I woke up choking on acid reflux, peed the bed, peed on the carpet and all over myself trying to get to the bathroom. This is not the first time this has happened. At least I didn't puke this time. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
To have a baby? Did I win?
Thaylok 17
Follow on babies come along when the desire to hold a bundle of joy and love them endlessly overrides the memory of the negatives of the previous baby (morning sickness; bed rest; body changes (weight/breast/diet/taste): childbirth; nurses walking in and kneeding your gut at 1:30 just after little one was fed and finally asleep; 2-hr feeding schedules; dirty diapers; infections and associated crying; depression). Older mothers have much longer memories and so stave off the baby blues longer. I hope this soon passes and you can enjoy a few months without regular cycles and the remainder yields a healthy baby.
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
Hospital. Right now.
Sara Niemantsverdriet 12
What for? Unless it's been going on for weeks and she can't keep anything down at all there's nothing unusual or dangerous about that
RichardPencil 32
To have a baby? Did I win?
Thaylok 17
Follow on babies come along when the desire to hold a bundle of joy and love them endlessly overrides the memory of the negatives of the previous baby (morning sickness; bed rest; body changes (weight/breast/diet/taste): childbirth; nurses walking in and kneeding your gut at 1:30 just after little one was fed and finally asleep; 2-hr feeding schedules; dirty diapers; infections and associated crying; depression). Older mothers have much longer memories and so stave off the baby blues longer. I hope this soon passes and you can enjoy a few months without regular cycles and the remainder yields a healthy baby.
Yudith 28
Try boiling cooked rice in two cups of water until it becomes a mush, then adding some cooked pork or sugar. It tastes good and settles the stomach.