Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
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Top comments
smoochmysnoot 6
What a buffoon. FYL
FluffythePink 23
I've had one like that. Don't they just get all stampy and pouty when you 'forget' about their birthday? He's not worth it, love. Stop wasting yourself on him.
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Comments (4)
Underscore_foo 5
Boo, dump him!
smoochmysnoot 6
What a buffoon. FYL
Hangryko 32
Divorce his ass.
FluffythePink 23
I've had one like that. Don't they just get all stampy and pouty when you 'forget' about their birthday? He's not worth it, love. Stop wasting yourself on him.