Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
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Top comments
meanie_monday 0
Wouldn't you feel the roughness of his hand or something?
divineinstrument 2
I love how accidentally kissing a guy's hand makes you gay, even if you're not attracted to other men Besides the OP could be a woman for all we know. Why have we assumed he's a man?
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Comments (181)
darkmis1 18
wuts really disturbing is that the doctor didnt tell you to stop
kellster 2
I lol-ed. That sounds like something I would do!
misty_donna 0
why would they deserve more for being a female?
slinkiess 0
this is kind of a crappy FML. come on, mods! this is an embarrassing situation, not "****-my-life" material. people do this all the time.
anniebananie 3
If you haven't noticed, FML is for funny, embarrassing situations, not depressing stories. Nobody wants to read "Today, I found out I have cancer. FML." In most FMLs, the OP's life is not actually ******.
Nacirema20 0
Ew. lol. FYL.
PoeticPixie 0
i mod'ed this one and rejected it, and they must have redone it, cause on the one i mod'ed, at the end it said, "i'm a dad."
IOwnedYou 0
This wasn't funny. Lol, who cares? You kissed his hand by accident, big deal.
fmylifelooser 0
Please tell me that was a joke.
elsieenchanted 0
28374382828! :D ^___^ And, haha. xD
SP63_fml 0
I call bullshit. How do you not recognize that you're kissing the back on someones hand for "A Few Minutes?"