Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
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Top comments
meanie_monday 0
Wouldn't you feel the roughness of his hand or something?
divineinstrument 2
I love how accidentally kissing a guy's hand makes you gay, even if you're not attracted to other men Besides the OP could be a woman for all we know. Why have we assumed he's a man?
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Comments (181)
Dee100 0
This is just hilarious!
chowyuk 0
so are you being sued for sexual harasment? did you come into contact with a uncurable disease he was carrying from another patient? how is your life f'd
inspireme48 0
ow that sux doesnt it?
xoxkarinexox 0
ugh. moderating staff.. seriously? come on. this wasnt funny at all. no one cares.
xHaniffax 0
How do you not notice you're kissing the dude's hand? Are you like....blind?
dtubbz53 0
umm, doesn't a hand feel a bit different than a baby's head? and this isn't an fml..i think we might need lessons on moderating things on here
ShatteredRubiks 16
Ok, I feel sorry for you. xD
Lisa_Emily 0
Hahahajajajjanlh khxldhx on omg
InspiredByGaGa 8
Why didn't the doctor say anything? Wow, that must have been so embarrassing.
xrayrayx 0
YDI for being an idiot and not looking right infront of you to see a HAND! which im pretty sure looks nothing like the back of a head. youre dumb. and this FML is stupid.
Destinyx 0
I know i was thinking that. If you can type this, surely your eyes work. YDI