Today, my friend reminded me that I have been on a ton of dates lately, but couldn't get a girlfriend because I thought something was off with them all. He also reminded me that I have dated every zodiac sign, meaning I'm out of options. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML
Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML
Today, I realized that every guy I get with or try a relationship with always ghosts me or friendzones me, and chooses to date someone else. It’s been a repetitive pattern for the past three years or so. I think I’m just going to adopt a bunch of pets and forget dating altogether. FML
Today, my friends yet again told me to hop on Tinder and other dating sites, saying how easy it is to match up, and I keep telling them I will soon. In reality, I've been on them for weeks, without a match. FML
Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML
Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML
Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML
Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, after not dating for 2 years, I went out on 2 dates. I got stood up both times. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Ever hear the phrase; “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” Maybe they weren't the ones with something off...?
RichardPencil 32
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves." It's not their signs that is the problem, it yours: Douchebag, the douchebag.
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Comments (7)
Inkoseh 33
Ever hear the phrase; “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” Maybe they weren't the ones with something off...?
bullsonyourface 20
shallow hal
RichardPencil 32
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves." It's not their signs that is the problem, it yours: Douchebag, the douchebag.
mfranks19891989 10
Maybe your the problem. Do you have someone that you can talk just is case.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If the fictional Jerry Seinfeld was real. And considered astrology to be important.
wrenavery90 12
So you had forgotten you'd been on a ton of dates? You needed reminding?