Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I'd forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML
Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML
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Top comments
doubledee93 6
guess someone shouldve had their v8
airforce987 20
Strange. When I get a new car, I always park it so far in the back that no one would ever park near it.
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Comments (158)
mjew 7
I'm a twit
doubledee93 6
guess someone shouldve had their v8
berichsoon 11
What about if OP has Alzheimer's and doesn't even remember that he/she does, and it was not mentioned in the FML
SqueakyChipmunk 22
3) *facepalm* I love that commercial.
estes816 9
Wouldn't parking right next to the entrance be the handicap parking? So, maybe OP does have alzheimers.
saintsrocksocks 10
What of what of what if. Guys, go by real facts. Don't use your imagination to come up with the most heinous thing you could think of!
SilentWind 0
83 What???
saintsrocksocks 10
Jesus Christ. I meant what if what if what if. Auto correct is a bench.
BunchieRules 31
109 - Yeah, autocorrect can be a real bench sometimes. Was that intentional, or did it get to you again?
ashl123 19
That's gonna be awkward I explain to the cops
sarahlouise0506 10
You are so nice, explaining it to the cops for OP. it's refreshing to see such nice people around.
Drigr 9
The explanation is fairly simple. I don't always buy a new car, but when I do I forget the next day and report it stolen.
Awkward_Science 2
4 - correction: "That's gonna be awkward." I explain to the cops.
SilentWind 0
That reminds me of Ted
nivek2120 8
You probably shouldn't be driving if you forget that easily..
gc327072 31
More like #firstworldproblems
airforce987 20
Strange. When I get a new car, I always park it so far in the back that no one would ever park near it.
la_puta_madre 4
You get new cars often?
Enslaved 38
In your lifetime, you'll have a few (hopefully). I'm on my 5th new car and when I first got it, I feared parking next to people that might scratch it. My efforts were in vain. It's got a bunch now!): damn compact parking BS!
kut17 11
The rogue shopping carts get you if you park in the middle of nowhere.
Jaxx66 21
6, I only park next too expensive vehicles, such as a Saab, Mercedes and the occasional Audi... I figure they probably don't want their car damaged either. But then again, I just got my first car May 1st. >_> still protective.
saintsrocksocks 10
No.
bestnameright 14
I guess COSTco would've been really COSTly if it had been stolen!... That was just bad...
ManInTheMachine 20
You tried, gotta give you that.
folfg0 12
That's what she said^
ASD_K 11
^ ...Hardly
markozmbj 0
Ur joke is amazing
FMLKitten 15
Ur spelling is amazing.
tne201992 12
Both of your spelling makes me sick!
DarkDaedalus009 8
I farted so huge while reading this FML :)
NothernNightmare 18
No. Just no.
DespairFaction 11
You might want to go wipe.
Axipiter 24
How, exactly, does one fart "so huge"?
Welshite 40
Why didn't you use your keys to find it?
Vivera2 6
not every car has a remote lock/unlock/ignition button on a remote.
Mauskau 36
If its a new car, it most likely does.
Vivera2 6
i was just saying there are a few new cars that come without the remote/automatic locks
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, but you have to be within a certain distance. The parking lot is huge, although the OP did say he parked near the entrance.
outoftown 27
#13, If OP can't remember a new car, why would he remember a new remote? Or what it does?
Welshite 40
I've walked right past my car that I've had for three years. After searching for a few minutes and wandering further into the lot I used my remote. I found it in less than thirty seconds.
lil_ham1644 29
It's an extra fee for electric locks on some models. Mine is a 2014 spark & it doesn't have a remote. My sister has a 2013 sonic & it has manual crank windows. It all depends on the car.
NothernNightmare 18
Parking lots are confusing enough when you know what car you have, so searching for a car you can't even remember you have must be very difficult.
expertsmilee 26
You - Oh, sorry officers, there's my car right by the entrance. Officer - ._.