Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML
Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy new blankets and a comforter. A cute guy started chatting with me and asked about the new bedroom decor. I lied and said I just had a major break up and needed new things, instead of admitting I was too lazy to dig out and wash my winter blankets from last year. FML
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You know what happens when you ASSUME someone is selling solar: You make an ASS out of U, ME and the renewable energy industry!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pretty sure solar energy can be used at any time of the year. Even a brief few minutes of exposure to sunlight helps, and what you don't use gets stored, which is also how you can use solar power when it's dark/overcast. Also, since he was an exterminator, weren't you expecting him?
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
You know what happens when you ASSUME someone is selling solar: You make an ASS out of U, ME and the renewable energy industry!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pretty sure solar energy can be used at any time of the year. Even a brief few minutes of exposure to sunlight helps, and what you don't use gets stored, which is also how you can use solar power when it's dark/overcast. Also, since he was an exterminator, weren't you expecting him?
Vesi 30
Not necessarily. I've had exterminator reps knock on my door because someone else in the neighborhood happened to be using their services. Personally, I will not hire people that harass my neighbors like that.
bloopaloop 27
Be glad he’s not still a terminator!
randybryant799 21
Why would you assume he was selling solar stuff? That seems rather random.