Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Impossible relationship
Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML
Epipen time!
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Good old gender stereotypes
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
Speak for yourself
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Top comments
Big_Red_138 3
I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!
Darcon 8
Noob.
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Comments (146)
Darcon 8
Noob.
theten_fml 9
..tonight we are having cheerios and marshmellows for dinner.
rockefoe 6
more likely mud pies
mismonroe 0
OM NOM
opendoorclosed 8
Playdough spaghetti surprise!
Docbee 11
That kid went to borntodothis.com?
Docbee 11
Did that kid go on borntodothis.com?
OceanBreathesSal 5
dude those are the best!! mmm makin my mouth water(:
PurpleRae420 0
Aww but that's cute he's a kid
EvilPotato 15
that's not very safe OP, god take care of the kid, I think he's got a stinky now by the way.
alex1432 9
it's not that hard. just gotta decide what you want. Chinese, Italian, Mexican ect. then just pick up the phone
mattyb123 0
your dumb
Big_Red_138 3
I'm in college too. Ramen ftw!!
WALLOOP 6
I love ramen
UnicornHooker 0
Ramen is the bane of my existence. I had to exist on the stuff for a week, with no other food, and I'm now unable to eat it. I liked it before, but when it's all you eat for every meal for seven days, you get sick of it super quickly. The food of weeaboos and poor students.
ihatecake 0
if you're talking about cup ramen you dont know anything. if you want some real miso ramen or shouyu(soy sauce) ramen go to a restaurant owned by japanese people with a mostly japanese staff. thats where you can find real ramen.
UnicornHooker 0
I have eaten "real" ramen (And I happen to know a fair bit about Japanese cooking. Not just the popular weeaboo shit either.) but when people talk of ramen, they rarely make a distinction between cup "ramen" and "real" ramen. In this case, we are referring to cup ramen.
sxe_beast 11
I've never had ramen in my life, nor do I think I ever will. =S
jewfro311 0
easy mac too, lol. and ydi. you should know to make a dinner-_-
iluvhobos 5
48- get your ass some ramen. it is a delicious staple in a students life and you are missing out!
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
-39. I had to live off of ramen for two years because that's all my parents could afford after my house burning down and both of my parents being downsized due to the economy. I still find ramen ******* delicious. How the hell did u loose taste in something in just one week?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Sorry if that comment sounded like a troll, I just ment that you should give it another try and not get "sick of it" in just one week haha.
SteelCladAngel 0
I lived of ramen ((the nasty packet kind, not the real stuff)) for about 3-4 months now just the though of it nearly makes me vomit though...bring pregnant I occasionally have a craving for it x(
borichick1 0
seriously ramen is the best!!
xxxemoxmusicxxx 0
call me crazy but I don't like ramen :
FarSide 23
Just can't beat a Florida education.
addiizcherry 0
Farside, that my friend was a tad offending, considering I was born and live in FL. OP, nothing wrong with that. Maybe she does an after school cooking program or one of her parents are cooks..? Especially if you are a guy, no biggie. I'm not being sexist, but most of the moms I know are housewives. Some moms work too though. This would only be a FYL if you are going to become a chef.. Sø not a FYL or YDI.
TheDrifter 24
All college aged people should at least be able to cook dinner. Is the Op's future spouse never to be allowed to be away for mealtimes to prevent starvation?
AnagenisisZagus 13
You SUCK!
Zombieslayer1 0
A lot of people can't cook well. It's because we are all so used to cheap fast food that we don't care to take time to learn. She doesn't suck for not knowing how to cook, maybe it's that she finds it boring like me.
tweetbaby14 18
so.... it's boring eating food that isn't floating in it's own grease?
Zombieslayer1 0
No. I personally hate fast food (read Fast Food Nation). What I meant is that it's hard for people to get into cooking, such as myself, because it boring and tedious to some people.
AnagenisisZagus 13
^Agreed. My former post was meant as a little gift from my friend to FML comments section.
Zoelovesyouloljk 0
... so what?
NomOnShroomz 14
Your cousin will make a man really happy one day.
docscientist 10
What does college have anything to do with this? Unless you're in a culinary institute, and if so you might want to seriously reconsider.
Zombieslayer1 0
She meant to show the great age difference. For a child to be teaching an adult how to cook is the fml here.
docscientist 10
Well no kidding, but to describe their ages by their level in an institution of of learning is a poor and awkward way of stating an age difference, especially when ignorance or lack of skill in something is the topic under consideration.
Zombieslayer1 0
Agreed.
maloriewatson 3
yea.. ur first grade cousin took culinary arts in her class, didn't she..? :/ unless I'm wrong, they don't teach that until high school.. :P
schpanki 11
wow, how hard can it be?
MyHandIsADolphin 0
Well now you know how at least
Snowble11 13
What did he teach you to make, Mac and cheese
imcutefml 0
no pb&j
JesseAttack 21
Or just eggs and toast :P. According to my boyfriend, you need a certain level of expertise for the mac n' cheese!
SpazzyJazzy325 0
Did you guys make Ramen or Macaroni?
NiqueKristan92 0
Youre like me (: Don't feel bad love
Taurusbaybe 8
Me too. I tried once, my dad told me to never try again after that. I feel for you, op!