Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fatblackguy 3
asshat
FruityLoooons 8
Hah. Shitehawk. Anyway, why are people solving things by being impulsively aggressive, nowadays? Geez.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
demonwolfmaster 26
you know you are an ass hat i have a bad hip and my eventualy need to park in a handicap stop (im only 19) so its people like you that makes me fear having to park there
zebrapattern 6
the language used in this FML was mind-blowing. Is this really how British people speak? x_x
Livzii 5
No, it's only this "asshat" (something I've never heard used before either) Btw in case you couldn't tell, I'm British
stefman13 1
Probably the weirdest weitten fml I've ever read
Livzii 5
How can he drive (pedals) if he can't walk?
LesCDeal 6
Are you kidding me right now?
xNephilim 19
They wire the pedals to the steering wheel where they are used like a second set of signals.
FaceMelterx2530 4
I'm guessing the OP is a writer, because he/she is using some really cool words.
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Perhaps you should spend less time trying to sound smarter than you really are, and spend more time observing details before you consider opening your mouth.
megmich 4
I looked at the first word and last word and that's what u are
stephanieeDawnx 0
Are you referring to "I" or "Today" as the first word..? Neither makes sense, I was just asking.
Spottedfeather 7
Flash car ?
imani132 6
What the **** did I just read? Lol
redbluegreen 41
An FML.
McNerdyNerd 8
You know what I hate? People who assume a handicapped person can't be attractive or hve attractive cars. I didn't realize they have to drive cardboard boxes and look like the hunchback of ND to use a wheelchair. GET A LIFE that DOESN'T include yelling at random people. Mind your own business. YDI.
CallMeBloo 31
Seriously. Did you even check for a ******* decal? From your story, it doesn't sound like you did. It sounds like you chose to just make prejudiced assumptions. Dick.