Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fatblackguy 3
asshat
FruityLoooons 8
Hah. Shitehawk. Anyway, why are people solving things by being impulsively aggressive, nowadays? Geez.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
analisemarie 12
Your language :D
getsmart123 4
Who says asshat and shithawk?
ImaniBabii 0
Wtf is a shitehawk
samanthaluv 0
your post makes no sencse to me. please learn english before posting next time for everyones sake
charmanderCHAR 5
*Your post makes no sense to me. Please, learn English before posting next time, for everyone's sake. You're a ******' twat.
KelBelAndNats 7
Basically, yes. OP is an asshat.
bruinsuT 4
Can Someone please translate this into American English? I'm really confused on what it says
ktchem 0
from what I can guess.. he saw a fancy car park in a handicap spot and he thought he was bad ass enough to tell this driver what a douche he is, but then OP saw a wheel chair in the car and had to apologize for being a pompous jerk.
ktchem 0
is this written in British-style Ebonics?
goodgood_fml 5
I am sure OP has learned a valuable lesson. Mind your OWN business. Congrats!!
Kaerunoutof 3
Shitehawk means An objectionable person, or a twat or wanker. It's Irish. And since my mother tongue isn't English, I couldn't understand "twat" and "wanker", either. **** English.
osteobabe 13
Where I come from a shitehawk is a seagull, as it's a bird that everyone despises. I would consider asshat an American term, I've never heard it in conversation, only seen it used by US posters on forums.
haj_fml 4
Even being English I have no idea what is said here..