Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML
Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
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Top comments
fatblackguy 3
asshat
FruityLoooons 8
Hah. Shitehawk. Anyway, why are people solving things by being impulsively aggressive, nowadays? Geez.
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Comments (230)
cindywashere 5
asshat and shitehawk, cutest cuss words I've ever heard xD (':
Thekidinme 0
Ydi for saying shitehawk
KrazyKlutzyKali 2
Good job... Did you wanna insult his family too?
sanddollar88 0
I love you awkward swear words. They are amusing.
ashleigh_anarchy 7
I understand how angry it made you to think that someone was taking a handicapped space, seeing as my mother was handicapped and required one. ALWAYS check for disability stickers before getting angry, ask before you start raging.
newlove_fml 0
Oh poor you, having to apologize for jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle. Not. Better to let people think you're a fool and stay silent than speak and confirm it. Besides that, how the hell do that guy's actions effect you personally?
kiraleann 16
Wait...you assumed that the person in the car wasn't actually handicapped just because it was a nice car? What even.
lilbuscus 1
Why did you include the fact that he was parking badly? And I hate people that just assume things before they look more Carefully. Be more observant
donadevastation 9
Your vocabulary makes my day. =]
dansco 25
You are such a ********! What is it to you how people park? Unless they block you in or are parked dangerously, you should stfu! You will burn in hell twat!