Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML
Today, my mum's response to my psycho sister being angry and threatening my partner, was that I should make her angry at me since she needs someone to hate, and I'm the default, so I handle it better anyway. This was after I asked her to get my sister professional help, and she denied the need. FML
Today, my wife and I are having marital/intimacy issues. My 72 year-old mom basically told me to touch my wife, to hug her more, caress her lovingly, and pat her bottom, etc. Thanks mom, I'll grab her ass, that'll make it all better. FML
Today, I got a lecture from my mother about how bad my stress has been, how I have to treat myself better and do something with my life. She still doesn't realize that most of the cause of my stress has been from her berating me about how stressed out I am. FML
Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
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Top comments
shemademedoit 20
please tell me they are joking. what kind of support is that?
Merylwen 24
Anxiety disorders are a mental health issue. Not something one somehow solves with sex (or alcohol, or drugs). Try to get your family to read on the topic and get medical help OP. :)
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Comments (72)
shemademedoit 20
please tell me they are joking. what kind of support is that?
Rainbow2Cloud 12
Getting laid will not solve Anxiety.
ladyLALAA 29
16 was too drunk to articulate what he wrote first time round.
xx000o 27
But it will damn sure make you feel better.
Sheah_95 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So I can assume you're anxiety is causing you to suffer from "performance issues."
peacheso 31
That flew right over your head.
Merylwen 24
Anxiety disorders are a mental health issue. Not something one somehow solves with sex (or alcohol, or drugs). Try to get your family to read on the topic and get medical help OP. :)
MrConcise 35
#3 - Sorry, but that statement is bullshit. Alcohol is the reason I currently have medication that fixes my anxiety. If I didn't start heavily drinking, I probably would've though and told my psychiatrist that my anti-anxiety meds didn't work and bounced around from drug to drug, but instead I was recommended a higher dosage. Presto, no more anxiety. I appreciate the sentiment of your comment, but chemically, alcohol does remove anxiety.
anonwhymouse 10
Actually, It doesn't get rid of anxiety. Alcohol affects the brain, but not in a way that will remove anxiety, at least not in all cases. With your case, it was most likely more of a placebo affect than the alcohol getting rid of the anxiety.
MrConcise 35
It's the same chemical impacting your brain used in anti-anxiety medications. Not at all a placebo.
Merylwen 24
Wait, what? Do you seriously believe that alcohol actually helped you? Your comment doesn't even make sense. Medication and therapy do help, not booze. Anyway, I was saying that because idiots frequently tell people with anxiety or depression that they need "weed/other drugs" or "to get drunk", which never ever solved anything, no matter how you try to twist it.
MrConcise 35
#21 - I guess I wasn't clear in my original comment, I'm sorry! I told my psychiatrist that I was drinking a lot and feeling better, and that's what led to the conclusion that I needed my dosage upped.
redstone7693 29
Keep your chin up OP. I know that things don't look too good right now, but I guarantee if you get some help for your anxiety things will be better in the future.
tintarroja 31
Try to seek alternative medicine like acupunture and homeopatic medicine. Bacopa is an excellent herb to help with anxiety. Meditation and mindfulness are excellent too. Good luck!
Fairyjoshy 13
If anyone ever recommends homeopathy, run for the hills.
Aimeejasmine 15
Orrrrrr you actual medication that's been researched and tested in depth, i.e Beta-blockers or benzodiazepine. If that or other serotonin- reducing drugs fail there's always Cognitive Behavioural therapy which can be adapted to suit individual patients. Do no turn to homeopathy pahah
tintarroja 31
It has worked for me. Have you tried it?
ChristianH39 30
I can see trying it to see if it would work, but to discourage someone from seeking professional help (not saying you did) in favor of homeopathic medicine is irresponsible.
tintarroja 31
Where did I say that? Omg. People dont know how to read!
danceinconverse 25
I think you need to learn how to read, because if you actually did you'd have noticed he'd put in brackets that he's not saying YOU did, but it's still bad. To quote: "(Not saying you did)" is exactly what he said.
blackonblight 33
Where's DocBastard to give the "homeopathy is bullshit" speech for us? It's water. Water.
elcee1987 18
That...actually sounds like useful advice. Try it out.
bwinski 19
ya, what's the worst that could happen right? bust that first nut and all your anxiety problems disappear...
ZombieVampirez 24
A therapist or best friend to talk to might work better
Goblin182 27
well, who doesn't need to get laid?
marcranger 29
Asexuals?
blackonblight 33
Damn right we don't!
NamesIncognita 15
I don't.
Cads1 24
Green light, go and get laid!
bdsmslave 18
And 9 months later your mom's Facebook status reads, "Just went from MILF to GILF in one moment of unprotected sex."