Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML
Today, I had a dream that my mom hugged me and told me she loved me. I woke up to her banging on my door, barging into my room, inspecting it, and then telling me to “just fucking kill yourself, because you're genuinely a bad person” before slamming my door. My room was perfectly clean and tidy. FML
Today, I had yet another dream in which my mother and I had a sweet conversation, followed by her hugging me, and telling me she loves me. Then I woke up and remembered that my once-loving mother hasn’t spoken to me in five years, and her last words to me were, "I hope you die in a fire." FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML
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Top comments
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
I think you need Sam and Dean Winchester to get rid of this spirit.
lrgenesis 19
Thats nuts! Haha mother in law IS an anagram of "woman hitler" for a reason. You might want to talk to someone about that. FYL, I'm sorry OP :(
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Comments (109)
lrgenesis 19
Thats nuts! Haha mother in law IS an anagram of "woman hitler" for a reason. You might want to talk to someone about that. FYL, I'm sorry OP :(
Redoxx_fml 22
Not punny
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oy, woman Hitler got old faster than arrow to the knee.
ALlamaOnFire 20
That's* nuts
Bladian 5
Okay 14, I'm a huge grammar Nazi, but even I can admit that your correction was just obnoxious.
PuppiesFTW 5
I get nightmares about my mother (like 3 times already). The same dream every time.
lrgenesis 19
Woah I was first? I wanna cookie!
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
I think you need Sam and Dean Winchester to get rid of this spirit.
shireeniee 8
They might need a little help from Cas, those two.
MissHayleyJames 7
Hey apparently Cas is coming back!!! I figured he would be since they kept him in the main picture on the website but there was a preview recently with him in it!
greg84_fml 21
Who the hell is Cas? I just started season 3, stop ruining the show for me!
LuxAeterna_fml 0
An angel.
RageKill 0
An angel who's married to Dean.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
^ LOL
MissHayleyJames 7
Cas is the greatest character ever. He comes in the premier of season 4.
MCRmyGeneral 9
YES! YES! SUPERNATURAL!!!!!
markrs 0
Dean is hott.....................
yozakura06 2
This is just a win hands down win
YessyxD 8
OMG!!! I'm watching Supernatural right now! I'm on team Dean/Sam/John/Cas!!!! :D lol they're all HOT!
HaileyBeth16 1
I agree with #87(:
BountyBass 13
The Freddie Grugar of mother-in laws
Xquisite1 28
*Krueger*
ALlamaOnFire 20
Freddy Krueger* Nice try though
iamyummylicious 14
Nice try though. * You forgot the punctuation at the end of your sentence.
iamyummylicious 14
Oh, and "nice try though" isn't a complete sentence. Stop correcting people. It's really annoying.
MrSassypants 34
"It's really annoying." isn't a complete sentence either. Nice try though. :)
THExistentialist 13
Nice try, though. (a comma makes this punctuation grammatically correct in the eyes of literature.) ^ Without "though" on the end, this would be a complete standalone sentence. However; the subject of the statement that came before it (the correction) makes it okay to add "though" on the end, making it a fragment, because the English language does allow for such loopholes. Yes, I checked my facts. No, I'm not giving you the leisure of a link-to, because you can look it up yourself.
FYLDipShit 4
Everyone commenting on this can quit being little bitches. No one cares!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Unfortunately #51, you're bring a little hitch here because you just can't deal with a thread with so much education. Now jump off a bridge...
iamyummylicious 14
My lack of a complete sentence was intentional. I was only correcting her because she has been correcting everyone. IHDGAF whether or not people have improper grammar or sentence fragments on FML.
THExistentialist 13
nor do I. But after 4 corrections, I decided to go total overkill for fun.
RedPillSucks 33
I was waiting for the combo breaker.
BountyBass 13
extreme grammar nazis infuriate me.
zachherbert 10
Who needs grammar teachers, when you could just hire FML'ers.
meagann01 4
I'm gonna need DocBastard to shut yall up here with all that bs. This is FML...
mellophone21 0
It actually is. "It" is the subject. "Is" is the verb.
Caretaker21 4
Sorry OP, sounds like she's a bad dream that will never end. Next Fed Kruger maybe?
ninjaboy18 6
Technically, that is called a night terror. Not a nightmare.
Caretaker21 4
Just because he woke up sweating & he gasped doesn't make it a night terror. Just saying....
owlfeatures 8
What's the difference between night terror and nightmare?
heyitslexx 3
I don't think there is a difference...
Caretaker21 4
A night terror is when someone appears awake at times & they scream, kick, flail. Easiest way to put it night terrors scare people witnessing them, where night mares scare the people having them.
Redoxx_fml 22
Inception time
ALlamaOnFire 20
LIMBO
The_Troller 14
We need to go deeper!
Redoxx_fml 22
22-that's what she said
SoccerBitch113 0
23 haha
j_cat187 20
Damnit 23, I wanted to say that.
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is why you need Psychic powers in order to tell your dead MIL to **** off or kick her dead Ass straight to the lower rings of Hell.
Strafeh 9
Or he could right a letter? Who rights letters anymore though?
Strafeh 9
Writes*
clumsychik 1
Er... You can't write to a dead person.
RedPillSucks 33
Sure you can. Now if they reply, then you have a problem.
astralvagan 20
Just remember what you learned from movies..... They can only hurt you in your dreams.... Run!!!!
loserman67 36
They say that persons that have gone on before us can watch over us, but they do not see things that they would normally not see during their life. But maybe you want to cool it with the anal sex and blow jobs with her daughter for awhile. No sense tempting the unknown...... JMHO
stormchaser24 24
It was just a dream, you memory and that stuff. But still FYL
taerts 9
Dreaming about the dead is not a good omen :/