Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML
Today, I had a dream that my mom hugged me and told me she loved me. I woke up to her banging on my door, barging into my room, inspecting it, and then telling me to “just fucking kill yourself, because you're genuinely a bad person” before slamming my door. My room was perfectly clean and tidy. FML
Today, I had yet another dream in which my mother and I had a sweet conversation, followed by her hugging me, and telling me she loves me. Then I woke up and remembered that my once-loving mother hasn’t spoken to me in five years, and her last words to me were, "I hope you die in a fire." FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML
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Top comments
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
I think you need Sam and Dean Winchester to get rid of this spirit.
lrgenesis 19
Thats nuts! Haha mother in law IS an anagram of "woman hitler" for a reason. You might want to talk to someone about that. FYL, I'm sorry OP :(
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Comments (109)
StoryOfTheYear 15
That whole "Bitch I'll piss on your grave!" line isn't looking too hot right now is it.
FMLshark 12
JUST when you think they'll never bother you again, the most annoying people in your life come back attack you in your nightmares. Sorry, OP.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Ahahahahaha owned by the dead
TrippingOnAcid 29
Ahahahahaha owned by the dead
jerjy1 5
a new rage face, troll mother-in-law
gonad_gobbler 1
You have to stand up for yourself in your dreams man! next time she says anything to you, just say: "suck it mother! and that's an abbreviation by the way!"
Snafuusmc 12
Nuts!
DocBastard 40
How many freaking people are going to say "There's a reason 'mother-in-law' is an anagram for 'woman Hitler'"? For extra points, did you know "mother-in-law nightmare" is an anagram for "Threaten A Whirling Mom"? How about "Throw Him A Realignment"? "Whittling On A Hammerer"?
loserman67 36
As always Doc, you show your intelligence, but I think you had a little too much time on your hands to think those up....
DocBastard 40
Well *anyone* can come up with an anagram for "cat" in 2 seconds, but the more complex ones take time. Plus, there's a distinct possibility that I took a class on puzzle creation in college.
THExistentialist 13
Doc has no time on his hands. On average, he washes his hands probably over 100 times a day (being in the medical field as well, I can verify this is totally true. especially for a trauma guy.), meaning that if time was on his hands, he would be washing it off, and then he'd be out of time, and thus commentating from the grave. He thinks on the spot, because that bastard's a Doc.
trolodon 2
I think you gotta see someone spiritual about that stuff
xRachel_Jx 5
Scary.