Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, I went to the store in the most awful looking pyjamas possible, ran into my crush, and he looked at me up and down and laughed. FML
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Top comments
alissa_roar 6
Your parents allow random crushes of yours to spend the night at their house? I'm guessing you're an adult living in your parents' house.
saIty 17
Wearing clothes and acting like a normal person is too mainstream.
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Comments (62)
TotallyAradical 14
Don't be a chicken and join them.
ClassyCommando 13
How awkward would it be if they were serving chicken for dinner at the same time? They would feel like cannibals.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Make a game out of it and crush the competition. :)
DKParth13 5
The awkward moment when your girlfriend joins in first.
B3Y0ND 3
That's ironic...
airforce987 20
Sorry OP but you were asking for that one
imaginaryvoice 18
That is normal. Chickens strut around naked all day
mvc3ftw 17
Chickens have the decency to strut around in their feathers >.>
lilhellian 27
Maybe she will join in:)
saIty 17
Wearing clothes and acting like a normal person is too mainstream.
Pleonasm 36
I call foul play. Too easy? Those chicks like to cluck! That's all I got.
Inheritance 10
I'm wondering if they were white are dark meat. I mean I prefer both but that's just me.
bazzer69 3
Woo nudists!!!
herpderpherpderp 13
hipster chickens.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
For a poultry sum of money, I'm sure they could have been bribed to act normal.
bigfunkychiken 6
So chic
erjgyflover 18
That comment goes Perfectly with your profile pic #3
ClassyCommando 13
The chicken is a noble creature, and I would proudly imitate them. And how would your parents be able to do an accurate impression of a chicken if they were clothed while doing so?
fuckuimpretty 5
So true
blcksocks 19
Looks like your ex got quite a show. Hope they are into that kind of thing.
lilhellian 27
Where does it say ex?
blcksocks 19
Damnit .. typed ex instead of crush.. won't be "ex" if they were into that kind of thing. I thumbed myself down. You should too.
lilhellian 27
Eh honest mistake there I'll thumb up anyway.
ks23 9
It's your parents house they can strut around however they please.
saIty 17
Can you be normal for one day? Normal? Why do you want me to wear pants? Walking around naked is more than enough. I'm going to act like a chicken.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Your picture is so apropos for that comment.
FlamingTacos 7
Pants are for squares
poopshreds 10
those are some "fairly odd parents" ha!
annie_nk 23
@68 You win sir! I remember that episode.
lacrosseplaya 13
Two fairly sized comments in the top 10, I applaud you sir.
alissa_roar 6
Your parents allow random crushes of yours to spend the night at their house? I'm guessing you're an adult living in your parents' house.
amandajlucas2015 2
Exactly y would u even want a crush to spend the night at ur parents house that's just awkward
vcapelo 19
Believe it or not but there are some areas where the age of consent are lower than 18 years, and where parents aren't scared of their children having sex at the age 15-16-17!
Anai08 17
8-This is exactly what I thought. I hope you are an adult OP, though the use of the word "crush" makes me doubtful. And even if you are, maybe your parents embarrassed you on purpose to make a point of how it might be disrespectful invite someone over 'to spend the night' when it's still your parents house.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Except OP is from Kansas so I doubt that's the case. Although I'm not from Kansas so what do I know?
X_Codes 11
@16 - That's hardly the point, here. If you're going to have sex with them, the term "crush" is hardly appropriate, anymore. If you had a legitimate crush on them, and your crush was aware of this and had sex with you, then they are essentially using your emotions to take advantage of you and get free sex. OP got what OP deserved, and looking at this post OP is clearly not mature enough to handle any kind of serious relationship yet.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Am I the only one that thought OP meant spend a night together. Like the crush came over for dinner, they watched a movie or something then they went home.
MissaGirl1 9
That would make more sense...
1048613 4
Just because the age of concent is lower don't mean the parents like the fact
Enslaved 38
If your folks are hot, he might need help choking the chicken. :P
MalloryKnox 8
Sounds like OP's night didn't go eggs-actly as planned. That would've ruffled my feathers for sure!
dreamer9614 3
69- I don't think you understand the term "choking the chicken".....
MalloryKnox 8
Oh no? OK here goes.. Punching the clown, measuring cylical friction, playing the skin flute, rotating the drive head... It'd be pretty sad if I made it to the ripe old age of 29 without being able to recognize a euphimism for masturbation! :)
MikeonFML 17
In fact it's it's a double entendre as "the chicken" could be his idiot parents as well.
vbmg152 19
You deserve it!! Wtf? Are you and your parents crazy? Letting random crushes spend the night? If you were my kid, I'd have knocked your block off for asking. I don't care how old you are, my house, my rules!!
Coalke 5
Obviously they didn't have any rules against this.
babygrrl257 11
Umm. Well it isn't your house. So it's not your rules. And they did let op. So. I guess their rules are a little bit different.
vhivfe 3
People like you do not deserve to have children...
koortneyg 12
How parenting should be!!