The unfavorite · 26 October 2022, 16:00 ·United States

Lonesome today

Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 26 October 2022, 10:00

Kids having kids

Today, I started my 17th birthday by having to clean my son’s extremely poopy diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 2 193

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I tried · 23 October 2022, 14:00 ·United States

Hammerhead

Today, I had to listen to my classmate loudly argue a question she got wrong on a test for half an hour, repeating the same incorrect argument ad nauseam. She screamed at the rightfully exasperated teacher for being "biased" when he gave up, and started screaming again when I tried to explain it in a different way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 21 October 2022, 02:00

Toxic

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850 You deserved it 178

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Anonymous · 16 October 2022, 16:00

Trash the lot

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246 You deserved it 2 876

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Anonymous · 11 October 2022, 22:00

Read the room

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365 You deserved it 1 545

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pikimin · 10 October 2022, 13:00

Indoctrination

Today, one of my Economics students in all seriousness turned in a research paper about the 2021 Supply Chain Crisis, saying that Joe Biden is at fault and that "liberals who put feelings over policy" are to blame. He used sources such as the Daily Mail and even cited a YouTube video by Ben Shapiro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078 You deserved it 521

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so romantic · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Sounds reasonable

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day… but I want to date some other girls first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 534 You deserved it 3 619

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Anonymous · 9 October 2022, 12:30

Teenage kicks

Today, my girlfriend gave me a wedgie and got her sister to take a pic. My boxers broke. I had that pair since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 1 174

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Anonymous · 6 October 2022, 11:00 ·Farnborough, United Kingdom

It's all downhill from here

Today, my parents searched my room because yesterday they found one of my friends vapes in my bag, which they made me return. Sadly, they found a box vape with 2 e-juices and gave me a talking to. So now, I'm never allowed out of the house until I'm 18 (I'm 14 right now) and I'm never allowed friends over. Also, they're really mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343 You deserved it 2 535

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Anonymous · 29 September 2022, 12:30

The war on drugs

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 1 254

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sadsadteacher · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Los Angeles, United States

Wildin'

Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 128 You deserved it 783

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UnhappyGrandmama · 22 September 2022, 23:00 🌶️ Spicy

The state of sex ed…

Today, my 17 year-old daughter texted me, “Mom I’m pregnat” Yes, exactly how you see it spelled. She’s a senior in high school. Oh, and she doesn’t know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481 You deserved it 445

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Anonymous · 6 September 2022, 04:00 ·Worcester, United States

Bad seed

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246 You deserved it 357

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Anonymous · 28 July 2022, 12:00

Congratulations, you played yourself

Today, I mistakenly texted my father in-law a photo of all my weed and all the joints I'd rolled. He’s also my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 You deserved it 1 578

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what the fuck is wrong with her? · 27 July 2022, 10:00

Respect the dead

Today, my idiot stepdaughter wadded up my dead grandma’s quilt instead of folding it neatly after using it. When I asked how she would feel if I wadded up her dead mom’s blanket, she replied that she wouldn’t care, at all. She then had the audacity to ask me to explain what she did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 1 235

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Anonymous · 21 July 2022, 04:00

Deranged

Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264 You deserved it 101

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Liam · 12 July 2022, 04:00

That's entertainment

Today, my son and his girl best friend have been dancing around each other for a year, unwilling to make the first move. It's a great source of entertainment for my wife, while I just want to yell at them to kiss already, but my wife has threatened "CONSEQUENCES" if I ruin the fun she has watching their teen drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229 You deserved it 265

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Anonymous · 20 June 2022, 04:00 🌶️ Spicy

Sneaky

Today, I found out that while he was dog-sitting during my holiday, my little brother was pretending my house was his to prove to women he was older than 16. I found this out when I got home and checked my CCTV system. He didn’t even wash or change my bedsheets either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269 You deserved it 269

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Anonymous · 24 April 2022, 02:00 ·Albany Creek, Australia

Teenage kicks

Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 142

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Di Da · 12 April 2022, 12:00 ·Switzerland

A tale as old as time

Today, my friends told me that my crush was hooking up with another girl. I wouldn't have taken it that bad if he hadn't flirted with me all the time, giving me false hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875 You deserved it 194

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Anonymous · 9 April 2022, 10:00

Teenagers…

Today, my 17 year-old is pregnant and I was fit to be furious, until my wife steamrollered over me to get to her, hugging her, and crying and how we’ll all raise it together as a big family. We can’t afford another baby. The daddy better be paying us something, or I’m gone kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155 You deserved it 264

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Anonymous · 29 March 2022, 16:00 ·Morganville, United States

Rites of passage

Today, I had to console a crying teenage boy, who'd realized he had been set up for a prank date at the restaurant I work at. All I could think about was how I used to set boys up on prank dates when I was his age. I had no idea how damaging it actually was on the receiving end, and now I can't stop hating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244 You deserved it 2 878

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well that sucks · 23 March 2022, 00:01 🌶️ Spicy

The one that got away

Today, I tried to reconnect with my high school sweetheart, or so I thought. When I called and told her who I was, she laughed and said, “Look dude, I was so depressed in high school, I fucked half the school as a form of self harm!” and hung up. I was so in love, and lost my virginity to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 22 March 2022, 00:01 ·Santa Rosa, United States

Parenting styles may differ…

Today, it was my first day at my new high school. I put on a tiny bit of makeup, just some mascara, to feel more confident. I got in the car and my mom started yelling about how horrible my makeup is, basically calls me a slut for wearing it, and makes me take it off. I ended up crying in the bathroom on my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179 You deserved it 164

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OnlyFecked · 29 December 2021, 13:59 🌶️ Spicy

What are you guys up to?

Today, my dad discovered my daughter’s OnlyFans account. I’ll let you do the math on that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643 You deserved it 331

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no, YOU raised him · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Concord, United States

Such a sweet little boy

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said, "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752 You deserved it 6 767

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jackofbadtrades · 4 December 2021, 08:01 ·Bridgewater, Canada

Keep your hands to yourself

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw one of my friends using the student printer. I'm a very playful person and like teasing and joking with people, so I snuck up behind her and started tickling her. I tickled her, before realizing that I had never met her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256 You deserved it 1 673

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Anonymous · 10 October 2021, 02:00 ·Bairnsdale, Australia

Consolation prize

Today, I realised my bestie ditched me for her best friend, which was fine because it's her first. But then I found out she's been hanging out with other new friends and never once thought to hit me up, until I messaged her about feeling sad we hadn't hung out in a while because of the pandemic. Guess it wasn't just the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 3 August 2021, 19:59

Teenage Riot

Today, my teenage son reacted to the news of his cousin's death like I’d just told him a bug got squashed on a car windscreen. He didn’t even look away from his computer screen, or react in any way. He seemed more annoyed that I’d interrupted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965 You deserved it 210

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