Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML
Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML
Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML
Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML
Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML
Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML
Vastu tells us more.
Vastu 5
well. the maid cant pay because we give her 15$ PER month. and we cant deduct it because... IN rural places of Nepal , where my servant comes from, one family consists of 9/10 sons or daughters .. so that 15$ directly goes to her HUGE family.
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML
Slasher
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Cheers
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it, hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 minutes and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say, "Oh, cool." FML
Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML
dani1104 tells us more.
So I'm not lying. The window repairman came today (after I paid $130) and said that some spring or something in the window frame was worn out. Boston had some very strong winds the day the window fell out, which pushed it out of the frame. I was on the floor doing a puzzle of Fenway Park if you needed to know.
Give it back
Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML
Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML
Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML
Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a week's pay. FML
No refunds, no returns
Today, I spent about half an hour trying to decide whether to buy a top, because even though it was lovely, it was really expensive. Eventually, after deciding to buy it because I could always return it if I changed my mind, I got home and realised I'd left it on the bus. FML
Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML
I'm not dead, I swear
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML
Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML
MelMayle tells us more.
MelMayle 0
I recently graduated from college and moved in this brand new unit / my first apartment, which is in a different state. I figured the rates were just low and the apartment was energy efficient. Come to find out, my bills actually exceeded $100 and $200 some months... I just don't understand how the customer service reps at the utility company, nor the complex--who was paying my actual bill the entire time--did not catch it sooner, especially considering they would be more familiar with how the rates run. But my biggest problem: They taking so long to catch it, drove my bill up. Had I been aware of my actual usage, I could have easily reduced my usage.
Jesus saves
Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML
Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML
Costly spat
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML
Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML
Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML
Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML