Im so lonely · 16 July 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Going solo

Today, my ex-girlfriend got married to a man she met last year. She left me after 8 years together because I told her I wanted to have fun and live my life, and wasn’t ready for marriage. Three years later, I’m not having fun at all. None of my bros wanna make plans because they’d rather be with their wives and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 1 439

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did I wake up in a porn? · 16 July 2024, 06:00 ·United States

New horizons

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 You deserved it 773

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Canada

So close…

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312 You deserved it 7 439

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Anonymous · 15 July 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Dick inspector

Today, I'm a significant grower not a shower, so when not erect to 7 inches my penis really does resemble a cocktail sausage. So far my girlfriend hadn’t seen it soft but today she whipped my boxers down while I was asleep. The phrase, "Oh my god! What happened to it?" is now forever etched in my brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598 You deserved it 147

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Anonymous · 15 July 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Caught in the middle

Today, my wife has a drinking problem. She's stopped drinking liquor but still drinks beer, and even though I work and make great money, we are always scraping by. I’m at the point of leaving but we have an almost three year-old and one year-old and I feel like I’m going to get screwed in divorce court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600 You deserved it 113

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bigcityfail · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Oh hell no

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 320 You deserved it 3 383

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Anonymous · 14 July 2024, 22:00 ·Lafayette, United States

NEXT!

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I got a haircut without asking for his permission first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 134

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Rosalind · 14 July 2024, 20:00 ·United States

The ick

Today, I realized my best friend has it bad for me. This man has treated me better than the guys I’ve dated. He goes above and beyond for me, and makes me feel safe, valued, and respected. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy, except he’s butt-ugly as fuck. I feel so bad that I can’t return his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280 You deserved it 873

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tj85 · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Daily news

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 591 You deserved it 2 694

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Anonymous · 13 July 2024, 20:00 ·San Antonio, United States

Meltdown

Today, my best friend of 8 years told me she is dating my ex-boyfriend. They've claimed to be best friends for the last 16 years. I told her I was bothered by it. She immediately blocked me on all social media platforms, but my ex still follows my accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 242

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Anonymous · 13 July 2024, 16:00 ·Minneapolis, United States

PDA FML

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 182

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Unattractive brunette · 13 July 2024, 14:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Start worrying

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646 You deserved it 163

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He started it! · 13 July 2024, 12:00 ·Riverside, United States

It's a man's world

Today, I got tired of my brother-in-law making disgusting immature misogynistic remarks so I decided to shut him down by boasting that I make twice his annual salary in a month. Now my husband is pissed at me for humiliating his brother, and letting everyone know out-earn them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649 You deserved it 211

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Anonymous · 13 July 2024, 09:00 ·Nashua, United States

Send positive thoughts

Today, I learned that I am probably going to be homeless. My fiancé broke up with me on our two year anniversary because my mental health is declining rapidly. I recently lost my job and a parent. I have been isolating and no longer have supports. I just want my life to have meaning again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587 You deserved it 140

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Anonymous · 13 July 2024, 06:00 ·Terrace, Canada

Chemical warfare

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162 You deserved it 457

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Anonymous · 13 July 2024, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Don't yuck his yum

Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 1 160

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nooo · 12 July 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Time out

Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 966

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Anonymous · 12 July 2024, 14:00 ·United Kingdom

Boob inspector

Today, my husband's latest attempt to torture me was to point out that in every animated kids film like Encanto, Moana, and so on, that somewhere behind Disney's walls is an animator who has to animate the characters boobs and how they bounce when the characters walk. I can’t unsee it; so many films. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340 You deserved it 222

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Anonymous · 12 July 2024, 12:00 ·Sydney, Australia

What happened?

Today, the boy I have been talking to for six months unadded me out of the blue, even though he had been acting completely normal hours prior to unadding me. I put so much time and effort into what we had, just for it to be thrown away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 188

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Marquise · 11 July 2024, 22:00 ·Baton Rouge, United States

Snapping

Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 247 You deserved it 513

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Anonymous · 11 July 2024, 09:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Freakout

Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 11 July 2024, 06:00 ·United Kingdom

Red flag

Today, after months of being friendly and flirty with a very close friend, they've started ghosting me and cancelling everything that has been planned. They will only message to moan or ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 10 July 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Drill sergeant

Today, my wife said I shouldn't wash or iron the clothes, or do the dusting and vacuuming, because, I "don't do it correctly." Also my wife: "You don't do anything to help around here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 177

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ReneG · 10 July 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Crasher

Today, I was supposed to get married to the love of my life. My ex-wife ended up crashing my wedding and created drama. My now-ex-fiancée decided she wants nothing to do with me anymore, and that, "if she wanted baggage, she’d go to an airport.” She walked out of the wedding and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Randy old bird

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 708 You deserved it 2 776

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Pastry boiii · 10 July 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Flummoxed

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776 You deserved it 215

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Kristyn · 9 July 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Fishy

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 384

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Homely · 9 July 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Not so cosy now, huh?

Today, I let my best friend know how I feel about him, since I have developed feelings for some time. I let it all out, hyperventilating and crying, yet relieved that I finally got it off my chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I appreciate it and you’re a great friend, but you’re kinda too homely for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 168

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Val · 9 July 2024, 09:00 ·United States

The miracle of childbirth

Today, I realized my marriage is over. I was in labor with our first child and my husband acted like being there with me in the hospital was a chore. However, he saw a young nurse and his mood did a 180. He left soon before I gave birth because he “got hungry.” All of this and he STILL has no clue why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 9 July 2024, 06:00 ·Montijo, Portugal

I don't like this

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 323

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