NOOOOOO · 21 April 2025, 22:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Missed opportunity

Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 You deserved it 849

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Ambitious · 20 April 2025, 15:00 ·India

In your dreams

Today, marks two years since me and my boyfriend refused to apply for jobs because we wanted to “pursue our dreams.” We are currently unemployed and frustrated, while our friends make six figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 You deserved it 1 127

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Yes I mean EX boyfriend · 20 April 2025, 03:00 ·Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy

To catch a predator

Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months about his history with girls. Almost every single one was a girl he met while they were underage, then fucked as soon as they turned 18. When I flipped my shit, he looked at me like I was crazy. "They were all legal, what's the issue?" YOU'RE A FUCKING GROOMER, DUDE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 20 April 2025, 00:00 ·Fredericksburg, United States

The body keeps the score

Today, the girl I used to be in love with texted me again after 5 months. She wanted to say that she remembers my birthday, which is next month. I hate that my heart still speeds up at the mention of her name, and I know it won't ever stop. She was my first crush since I came out, and my first heartbreak. I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 19 April 2025, 20:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Third wheel

Today, I spent a lot of effort making sure my roommate had a good birthday. We've hooked up in the past, and a mutual friend of ours is staying the night. Also someone I've made out with before. We were hanging out and the vibes were good, but when I initiated a cuddle puddle, they declined. Now they are hooking up without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 You deserved it 401

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Who needs sleep · 19 April 2025, 15:00 ·Netherlands

Buzzed

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 77

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Maybe I should just not fly home... · 18 April 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Mommy's boy

Today, I asked my fiancee to drive me to the airport for a business trip in a few days. She ranted angrily that she already had plans, so I asked my mom to take me instead. Now she's pissed and saying, "Why don't you just go marry your mommy, since she does everything for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 609 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 18 April 2025, 09:00 ·Riverside, United States

You snooze, you lose

Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 1 182

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Anonymous · 18 April 2025, 00:00 ·Karachi, Pakistan

Nervous introvert of the day

Today, it was a bad day. I had a crush on a classmate, but he switched schools a month ago. We started to develop a good relationship when it happened, and he came to our party on Friday, we even had a good conversation. But he visited school today, and I ignored him. I should've waved hi, but I didn't because I was busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 You deserved it 627

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Rossi · 17 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

I'll get my coat

Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 You deserved it 371

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annoyed · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Creep from the past

Today, I received a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 608 You deserved it 2 958

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Crushed · 17 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Let's not do this again someday

Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 17 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Ankle monitor

Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 757

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ugly · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Great timing, dude

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 850 You deserved it 3 659

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Milly · 16 April 2025, 20:00 ·Tokyo, Japan 🌶️ Spicy

Live a little

Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 707

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Pocatello, United States

Clubbing tip

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 084 You deserved it 7 092

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Anonymous · 16 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Cunning plan

Today, I was texting a friend about how my date last night went, which gave me a goofy idea: I thought it would be cute to pretend that I'd made a mistake and send my response to my date, just so he'd know how I felt it went. I should've proofread, because instead of “It went well, he was really sweet!”, I sent him “It went well, he was really sweaty!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 658

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Pauline · 14 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Dating is hell

Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492 You deserved it 179

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BigBack · 14 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Baby Got Back

Today, I came home early from work because I wasn’t feeling well. I overheard a phone conversation that my husband was having in the living room. “Yeah dude, I ain’t attracted to that bitch no more, she got a big back now, but she pays the bills and I got a roof over me, so it’s good, you feel me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 672 You deserved it 115

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crizzy · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Lazy ass

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 128 You deserved it 4 337

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Carloly · 14 April 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Bad romance

Today, a guy I’ve been dating for a while surprised me with tickets to see my favorite singer, Lady Gaga, for my birthday. I was about to tell him I can’t see him anymore because I fell for someone else at work, and it wouldn’t be fair to string him along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154 You deserved it 595

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MY CHIPS · 14 April 2025, 00:00 ·Tokyo, Japan

Pet peeve

Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475 You deserved it 112

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max5 · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Casseneuil, France

Salt meet wound

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 337 You deserved it 2 978

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ToxicFamily · 12 April 2025, 03:00 ·Germany

Deal with your own shit

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 88

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Patrick · 11 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Casual

Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 10 April 2025, 20:00 ·Rancho Santa Margarita, United States 🌶️ Spicy

You really shouldn't have!

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 10 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Priorities

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 88

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France Howell · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Dying words

Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 286 You deserved it 415

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Liam. · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·France

Hot wheels

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 785 You deserved it 52 480

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Hoo boy · 9 April 2025, 09:00 ·New York, United States

Truth bomb

Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 95

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