Fail
United States
Lazy day
Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML
alicia75
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Elkhart, United States
Jeremy
Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML
Sylv
You ain't from around here, are you?
Today, I was running late for a job interview so I took what I thought was a shortcut through an dank alleyway. I ended up getting chased by a pack of stray cats and arrived at the interview covered in scratches and cat hair. FML
Anonymous
Cats with jobs
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Anonymous
Portland, United States
Saber-toothed
Today, I woke up to find out that my practically feral cat had chewed through my laptop charger cable. I guess I won't be getting much work done today. FML
Anonymous
Montréal, Canada
Life is life
Today, I spent all day watching sad cat adoption/rescue videos on Instagram and now I'm bummed out thinking about how mine are going to die within my lifetime. FML
Anonymous
Every cat owner hears you
Today, I spent an hour cleaning up cat hair from every surface in my house, only for my cat to immediately jump up on the counter and shed her fur all over again. I guess I'll just admit defeat. FML
Anonymous
Windsor, Canada
If I fits, I sits
Today, I was so into my game that I didn't notice my senior-aged cat had emptied his cat bladder onto my leg until I took off my headphones and he jumped off me to go chew on the couch. FML
Anonymous
Hotkey
Today, I was screen-sharing during a virtual meeting when my cat jumped up and walked across my keyboard, and revealed my embarrassing search history. FML
Mistaken
United States
They adopted you
Today, I thought I had two cats, an albino and a tuxedo, but apparently I have four. I just discovered that an orange cat and a black cat have somehow gotten into my basement and made themselves at home. There's no way in hell I can afford four cats. Oh, and the cats I actually own hate them. FML
Anonymous
Obey, human
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Anonymous
Dating sucks
Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML
Jay Stevens
I just want to go to bed
Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML
Sara
Misery loves Caturday
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Anonymous
Estonia
How could you?
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
MrG
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
United States
Let it go
Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML
Rasta Pickles
Bristol, United Kingdom
SHUT UP
Today, my wife has imposed two Bengal cats on my existence. Bengal cats howl, very loudly, during the night. My wife can sleep through a nuclear war. I will not get a decent night's sleep for the next twelve to fifteen years of my life. Prisoners of war being tortured endured less. FML
Anonymous
Dr Dolittle
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Anonymous
No typing! Only petting!
Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML
Anonymous
Same
Today, I’m realising that at some point I should have just settled for the guys who were there, instead of waiting for the fantasy perfect guy. All my exes are happily married with grown kids, whereas I’m in my 50’s, never married, no kids or grandkids, and will probably die alone with my cat eating my face. FML
Middle Age Divorced Dad
Kanata, Canada
Mystery time
Today, my girlfriend has cats that live in my garage because I'm so horribly allergic to them. She went in the garage a while ago with power tools to do something simple. There has been a fair bit of noise and commotion in there. Part of me is happy that my girlfriend is trying to be handy, but I'm mostly worried about what could be going on. FML
Fail
Fore!
Today, I was playing Wii Sports Golf. At the start of the final hole, my cat happened to run right in my way and I accidentally hit him, in addition to the ball. To add insult to injury, the ball went in the water, and my cat fell and landed in his litterbox. FML
HappyNewYear
Feral kitty
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Wow
United States
Sneaky
Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML
just-a-fat-cat
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
West Bend, United States
Heftychonk
Today, I noticed my cat was making a loud wheezing noise when trying to breathe, so I rushed him to the vet's. $250.00 worth of tests later, he's fine. Just really fat. FML
Anonymous
Germany
The struggle is real
Today, I can tell that my cat comes from a household were there was not much cleaning being done: The vacuum is a monster to be fled from, while the mop and the lint brush, as well as any cleaning rag, are brazen intruders to be vanquished. FML
Anonymous
Australia
My house now
Today, my house got its annual visit from a cat that lives down the street. My dogs did nothing to chase it away, and it marked its territory. I have a very sensitive nose, but I can't find where the smell is coming from for the life of me. I am also highly susceptible to migraines, and cat piss triggers them. FML
Ubehage
Denmark
Don't harsh our buzz, filthy human
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Smol Cat
Smol bean
Today, my cat is five years-old and still looks like a very chunky kitten. I'd been worried for the past three or four years that something was wrong with her, because she wasn't growing to a normal size. It turns out that's literally her natural size, and she's perfectly healthy. I was stressing over nothing. FML
Cat Mama
Your days are numbered, puny human
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML