Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML
All the FMLs
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML
Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML
Today, I had a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I had any experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
The "No phones" rule
Today, I found out how my salesmen are "entertaining" themselves since they were told they can't have their phones on them. They're pulling straws to see who will pretend to trip and fall face-first onto the floor in front of customers. FML
Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML
Cute
Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he got me fired. Looks like my calendar is clear. FML
HRomero tells us more.
HRomero 6
Hello all. OP here. First of all thanks everyone for your kind words. I am single and it's gonna stay like that for a while. There were a few signs that he was a little crazy, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Even now that we aren't together, he continues to be crazy. He even put my phone number on social media. So the only option I had was to get rid of ALL social media. The good thing is, I've been catching up on some sleep now that I'm jobless, but I won't be jobless forever. Word of advice...if you get this gut feeling your significant other is crazy..run cause you might lose your job. Take care y'all.
Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML
Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML
Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today I bought a $50 voucher card to refill my phone. After I purchased it, I threw the receipt in the dustbin. When I got home, I found out that the 14-digit pin code was on the receipt. I basically threw 57 bucks in the dustbin. FML
Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML
Today, I was threatened with eviction over $6.25. They waited three days to tell me and left me one business day to get it done. Six fucking dollars and 25 goddamn cents. FML
lululand315 tells us more.
lululand315 12
Wow. So many trolls. I'm the author, forgot to sign in when I posted it. First, I live in Northern Virginia, not DC, although I'm not far from it. There aren't people banging on the door to get in here, though. Second, it's an apartment complex so no bank or mortgage involved. Third, I had been sick in the hospital for most of the past 3 weeks. So my rent was 2 days late due to illness. I paid the late fee of $200 dollars without a complaint. (Most late fees are only $50 in comparison.) I simply misread the amount of the late fee. The $6.25 seemed to be an admin fee of sorts. They absolutely had the power to cut me some slack since it's such a small amount. It's just a poorly run office. Fourth, VA isn't very nice to renters as a rule. They absolutely could've gone to the courthouse and gotten a '5 day pay or quit' notice. Which means if I didn't pay, on day 6 a sheriff's deputy would have showed up at my door and forcibly removed me, my daughter and our belongings. As an aside, homeowners in VA who get evicted are given about a week, not 30-60 days to move. Fifth, I desperately wanted to pay it in pennies. But they wouldn't even accept a personal check. It had to be a cashiers check or money order. So yes, I had to drive crosstown to the Walmart with the working money order machine and pay an additional 70 cents for a money order. Finally, when I turned in my rent + $200 late fee the man behind the desk made me wait while he opened the envelope and checked to see if the amount was correct. He told me it was fine so I thanked him for his time and left, thinking all was okay. They waited until 3 full days later to tell me about the 6.25, never admitting that the guy behind the desk had given me the wrong information and told me everything was okay, when it clearly wasn't. I had one business day to get it handled and I had a lot of important stuff going on that I had to put on hold bc of their incompetence. And yes, I will be writing to the higher ups to complain about it. To the poster who asked, I think I will write my next rent check in ******* dollars and goddamn cents. To all the trolls saying I'm trying to take advantage, I sincerely hope you never make an honest mistake after being sick in the hospital for 3 weeks.
Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months to see if I got the job I had applied for, I was told that they never received my application. Turns out that the email address that they told me to send it to was not being checked anymore and that they would be happy to consider me for the following year. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, after months of arguing and conflict, I broke up wIth my fiancé. Or at least, I tried to. The wedding's off, but only until he can convince me to want to marry him again. FML
Scaredy cats
Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML
Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML
KillerChipmunk tells us more.
Hey, OP here! First published post! I hadn't actually told them that I think it's the washer yet, next time I complain, I'm going to let them know. If they still don't fix it properly, I'm going to tell them I'll to do it myself. I've done some simple plumbing fixes like that before, so I don't think it'll be too hard or long a process. The main problem with fixing it myself is I'm in college and it's essentially an off campus dorm room (owned by the school, which kind of helps explain the quick fix mentality), and I don't have any tools here.
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my mom. He was curious as to how my mom had a better ass than mine when she was twice my age. FML
mermaidkeels tells us more.
So this actually happened a few years ago. Last week a couple of friends and I were talking about funny/awkward relationships and I remembered this story. Decided to submit it but didn't think it would get published. By the way, no-we are no longer together but that is for unrelated reasons.