Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML
Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Today, I’m nine months pregnant and divorcing my husband. He’s been cheating for the past six months and blamed it on me for “lack of intimacy.” I’ve been hospitalized three times for this pregnancy thus far, so I'm sorry I’ve been sick growing a whole ass human! FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
Can you report her to social services? she sounds dangerous to the child.
Alysha Cuddy 9
run. very fast
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Comments (39)
interesting33 37
Can you report her to social services? she sounds dangerous to the child.
Suzanne Butler 8
They can't do anything without endless investigations and proof
interesting33 37
but it can make them aware and help build evidence if something happens in the future. it is important to report it and it will help build a picture for safeguarding.
Alysha Cuddy 9
run. very fast
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So, you were ok with her being impregnated by your husband, but having the kid on your birthday is what really pissed you off? She must hate you!
8313girl 28
What? Seriously what??
almost_there44 26
If that's what you got from this FML, you need serious help.
DanielleinDC 34
I'm pretty sure OP's decision to divorce her husband was when he knocked up his sweetie on the side, not when she learned the woman is inducing labor to ensure her child has the same birthday as her boyfriend's soon-to-be-ex-wife. I'm also sickened that she found a doctor willing to do this.
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16
It says she induced it herself. So I’m imagining it was less likely that she was a doctor but more probable that she has pretty good skills with a wire coat hanger.
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16
Everyone needs to back off Richard, just because you have insufficient grey matter between your ears to understand the jokes doesn’t then give you the right to rip on him. Don’t worry Richard bro I got your back ??
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16
Those were fist bump emojis btw
almost_there44 26
Looks like Richie made another account to defend his stupid sense of humor.
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16
Nope not the same dude. Flattery will get you everywhere though! Just a buddy having his back because I actually get his jokes.
Victor Ostlund 6
Dude obviously she did not find out about all this till the day she posted this. The other option is she knew he cheated but wanted to try and keep them together and then found out he took it to that level.
Zachary8261 28
You left out “shot him in the head.” It’s an honest mistake.
electrodude 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you have already have a child you can 1.make sure he doesn’t see the kid/s and 2.get child support
Mungolikecandy 19
Get child support definitely. However, children should never, ever be treated as a weapon in a divorce and be punished for the actions of either parent by forcing one parent to be cut off from them. That way leads damaged children as I have seen far, far too often.
Mike3258 18
Well my cousin is an exception. mom is poor compared to the dad, so she is abusive. they are working on taking custody away
Lobby_Bee 18
If I were her, why would I want my child to have the same birthday as my husband's ex wife? "Oh honey, do you remember what today is?" "Of course, it's my ex wife's beer.... Wait, no, my son's birthday."
Namenlos_fml 20
Spite. Lots of it
Emma Marshall 19
Beer?
Brittanie Torres 11
What an asshole and douchbag
xtutu 12
She did it just try to piss u off. She wanna remind u of the shit affair very time u are celebrating ur birthday.
Harm Varwijk 17
run and do not look back. your future ex and his cum box deserve each other
Summaria 10
What a great way to make sure that your (soon to be) ex-husband will always remember your birthday. Such a nice gesture from her. Though i doubt that was what she had in mind but it will probably be something that HE will now always have on his mind.