About xs4u : Social media manager. Tech freak. Horror/science fiction/fantasy film/book buff. LOVE anime & a good laugh. ANDROID is the future.
xs4u's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
xs4u's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend bought a new car. He left his old car at the dealership and asked me if I could go back with him, and then I'd follow him back to his house in his old car. That was fine, except he forgot to mention the car had no brakes. I hit his car. FML
by bumpercarmcgee / 05/11/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML
by bird / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML
by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jae_Hellyun / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
by owl + bungee cord / 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by fat / 01/07/2014 at 7:41am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
by peepeepainter / 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
- Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently… Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years… Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was…
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…