xlord

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xlord

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17456
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>ghaith</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:50am<b>MrZed</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:17am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:38am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Palms2</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:03am<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:04pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:04am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:33pm<b>beansnrice</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:08pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>revan546</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:46pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:09pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:18am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 8:06am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:32am<b>mystam4</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:24pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:21pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:05pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:02am<b>interesting33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:39am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

by rattlingfloorboards / 12/15/2011 at 12:09am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

by testesential / 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

by Jess / 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

by D / 12/04/2011 at 2:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals