stillalive33

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Offline (the 05/28/2015 at 6:59pm)

stillalive33

2Fucked!

stillalive33
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1233
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About stillalive33 : I swim, play tennis, and march. F Horn and mellophone. 4x state champion

stillalive33's page activity

Visits<b>MaxTheNeko</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 5:48pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 2:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 1:09pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:24pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:07am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:59am<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:57am<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:16am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:18am<b>krisnick</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:29pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 9:48pm<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:40am<b>Harpy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 1:04pm<b>423</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:59pm<b>mychallm92</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Whitey111111</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>yahya7898</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:33pm<b>chbonbon</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:40am

Fucked!<b>Whitey111111</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:14am<b>IMightBee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:55am

stillalive33's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of stillalive33's badges

stillalive33's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

by princess / 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

by whykarma / 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy