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Offline (the 10/22/2016 at 3:55pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 October 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2364
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About purplhaze88 : I am just your average boring girl; who likes reading about others misfortune.

purplhaze88's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - 11 hours ago<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:18am<b>hman1025</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:26am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:39am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:09pm<b>sofijas</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:05am<b>GrumblySphinx</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:39am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Chief_leif</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:26am<b>tj1540</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 3:33am<b>Mons</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:39pm<b>FrenchToastKick</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:01am<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:52pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:48am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:40am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:26am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 1:39am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:00pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:42am<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:47am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:08am

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purplhaze88's favorite FMLs

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

by OldHabitsDieHard / 09/18/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

by jeph23 / 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

by WOCOACH / 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids