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purplhaze88

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purplhaze88

6Fucked!

purplhaze88purplhaze88
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1976
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About purplhaze88 : I am just your average boring girl; who likes reading about others misfortune. I love being near the water, camping, and having fun.

purplhaze88's page activity

Visits<b>Eabbs</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:19am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>kutchbabe</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:42am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Donnydealer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:17am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:46pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 12:53pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:23pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:24pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:42am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm<b>rustyburrito</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:51pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:03pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:14pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:26pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:26am

Fucked!<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:00pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:42am<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:47am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:08am

purplhaze88's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of purplhaze88's badges

purplhaze88's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (20945)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44032) - you deserved it (7046)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (10760)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (9799)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (17691)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (41601)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66664) - you deserved it (15231)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68119) - you deserved it (6292)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50851) - you deserved it (10901)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (6332)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49043) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

#5189179
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (18118)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm - work - by jeph23 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (4425)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16562) - you deserved it (48384)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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