lovecottoncandy

Search for a member

Offline (13 hours ago)

lovecottoncandy

8Fucked!

lovecottoncandy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 874
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lovecottoncandy : Hi, I'm Sam. I'm in university and am taking organic chem. After that class I like to read a few FMLs to relieve the horror and realize other people are having worse days than me. So thanks FML

lovecottoncandy's page activity

Visits<b>santoshbabu</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 10:54pm<b>kintoki25</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 12:19pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:15am<b>r1has</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 11:32am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:12pm<b>lemonlime66</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:13am<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 6:43am<b>Setareh23</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:48am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:20pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:39pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:28am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:50pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Koizumiii</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 6:54pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:29am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:20am<b>lop948</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:18am<b>conman531</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:48pm

Fucked!<b>r1has</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:31pm<b>lemonlime66</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 11:13am<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:22pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:49pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:20am<b>lop948</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:19am<b>__jmam__</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:38pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:38pm

lovecottoncandy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lovecottoncandy's badges

lovecottoncandy's favorite FMLs

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Work

Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML

by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed I parked behind a boy I like. Trying to impress him with my driving skills, I ended up forgetting to put the car in reverse and rear-ended him. FML

by hatemylifelol / 01/08/2016 at 3:33pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

by yayibs / 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

by CA / 10/08/2015 at 10:46am / Norway / Work

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2015 at 3:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

by besosforme / 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

by tirf / 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm / Work

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous