About lovecottoncandy : Hi, I'm Sam. I'm in university and am taking organic chem. After that class I like to read a few FMLs to relieve the horror and realize other people are having worse days than me. So thanks FML
lovecottoncandy's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
lovecottoncandy's favorite FMLs
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Work
Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML
by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by hatemylifelol / 01/08/2016 at 3:33pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
by yayibs / 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2015 at 3:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML
by besosforme / 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML
by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…