About justindrew14 : I'm a bi polar ADHD.
I am the nicest asshole you could ever hope to meet.
I'm also a shit person, but give me time and I realize it usually to late though.
If you want to know anything else about me message me.
I don't bite I promise, ok just a little nibble.
I have three dogs.
I also like to travel.
Future Pediatric Trauma Physician.
About justindrew14 : I'm a bi polar ADHD.
justindrew14's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
justindrew14's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
by jessel_ladd92 / 09/09/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by merpaderp14 / 09/09/2013 at 2:15am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML
by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML
by thanks mom ¬_¬ / 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…