Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

julesvasquez

Offline (yesterday at 7:38pm) | Search for a member

julesvasquez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About julesvasquez : Why do You want to know about me?
Just kidding, lana del rey is My life

julesvasquez's page activity

Visits<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:15pm<b>jb590</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:53am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:44am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:36am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:08pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:04pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:50am<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:39am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:56pm

julesvasquez's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of julesvasquez's badges

julesvasquez's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (2628)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (1511)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (1936)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (3566)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (2326)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (2144)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (2539)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (4005) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (1969)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (2182)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (11611)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (2004)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

#21380298
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (2084)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

#21380086
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:51am - money - by stuck - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: