ipodtouchgirl

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Offline (the 12/03/2016 at 4:18am)

ipodtouchgirl

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1224
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About ipodtouchgirl : Lesbian, 19. I hate people.

ipodtouchgirl's page activity

Visits<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 6:57am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:45pm<b>leah201900025</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:46pm<b>mbbcjuliet</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:32pm<b>Troll0719</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 8:51pm<b>ericanicole1</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:14am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 3:05pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 2:13am<b>kylo_117</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 5:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aperron96</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:04pm<b>RA91</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:15pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:02am<b>arano</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 7:39am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:29am<b>srinathmatti</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:47am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:43am<b>devin9716</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:17pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:43am<b>devin9716</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:17am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:46am

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ipodtouchgirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous