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danthehuman

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danthehuman

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5176
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I also play RTS games on Gameranger. If anyone plays AOE III or things like that, don't hesitate to message me.

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>omnombru</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:55am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Cayers97</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:10am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:42pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Puss_Wisperer</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:57am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:35am<b>Himynameisrodney</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:30pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:11pm<b>alexandchase</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:50am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:34am<b>tsommer</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Glock34</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AirAce</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Evil_Jester</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:14pm<b>DerpingtonHerp</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:24pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:26pm

Fucked!<b>gigistar15</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:29am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:30pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:36pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

danthehuman's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of danthehuman's badges

danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (7277)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (3368)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2796)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31840) - you deserved it (4199)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33131) - you deserved it (2320)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (2336)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (2850)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (1521)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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