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Offline (the 10/27/2015 at 12:05pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10422
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I'm a HUGE HOMESTUCK trash person as well as a total weeb, you have been warned!

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 7:26pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:57pm<b>chromesaurus</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:23pm<b>riot_grrrl</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:15am<b>DarkHunter17</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:26am<b>Anushka</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:05pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:11pm<b>bearbear120</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:47am<b>kawayi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:53pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:48pm<b>WhyM3Th0ugh</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:16am<b>sweetie808</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:11am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:47pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:16pm<b>symfora</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:35am

Fucked!<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:57pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:53am<b>WhyM3Th0ugh</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 7:16am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:59am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:29am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:30pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:36pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

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danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

by bluebelle / 10/19/2015 at 7:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML

by cookie_lover_xx / 10/15/2015 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, the 3 girls who have continuously bullied me for the past 3 years gave a class presentation on why bullying is so terrible. Judging from our teacher's comments, they're going to get top marks. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

by -_- / 10/07/2015 at 7:29am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

by elcee1987 / 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my dentist and his hygienist were flirting while they worked on my mouth. I didn't really mind, however I definitely minded when the hygienist pierced my gum with her tool because she was laughing at one of his jokes. FML

by urbantrashcan / 10/05/2015 at 5:02pm / United States / Health

Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends, I had the pleasure of driving both of my ex-boyfriends to homecoming. Neither one of them knew that I had dated the other, but they sure do now. FML

by badplannning / 10/04/2015 at 1:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML

by xxx / 10/03/2015 at 9:38am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

by sad-boing / 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy