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danthehuman

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danthehuman

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3923
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danthehuman : Hi. I've been on FML a couple of years. Just here to have fun :). I also play RTS games on Gameranger. If anyone plays AOE III or things like that, don't hesitate to message me.

danthehuman's page activity

Visits<b>slingerslasher</b> - 11 hours ago<b>LowExpectations</b> - yesterday at 5:05am<b>tanishpradhan</b> - yesterday at 1:16am<b>jcshadow</b> - yesterday at 9:38pm<b>SookyLala</b> - yesterday at 8:14pm<b>nettrol</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:47am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:51pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:17pm<b>jcates2685</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:40pm<b>C7</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:34pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 12:32am<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:57pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:15pm<b>843dude</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>ninety</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:43am<b>whimsicalshit</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:44am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:31am

Fucked!<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:29am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:30pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:36pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>msid9999</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59am

danthehuman's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of danthehuman's badges

danthehuman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (1448)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (8612)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (5371)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (2025)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (4879)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (2243)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (3922)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (1901)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (3038)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (2748)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (6353)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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