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cocainewhore

Offline (the 03/28/2015 at 11:16am) | Search for a member

cocainewhore

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6141
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:55am<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:30pm<b>waitingtoolong</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:57am<b>jerryj</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:17am<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:59am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:39pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>ramirolwb</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:36am<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:56pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:07am<b>caleb_ohs</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:25am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:37pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:53pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:13am<b>deutschmadchen</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:01pm

Liked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:53am<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:34pm<b>xpolymer</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:51am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:07pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:42pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:30am<b>zsaddayz</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:09pm

cocainewhore's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (3668)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57131) - you deserved it (7369)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (3946)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (7633)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

#21095607
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (9469)

On 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (16227)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54035) - you deserved it (6539)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (3116)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (15392)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48092) - you deserved it (9578)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (12912)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (6396)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (26617)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)



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