Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cocainewhore

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

cocainewhore

9Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6199
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:55am<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:30pm<b>waitingtoolong</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:57am<b>jerryj</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:17am<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:59am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:39pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>ramirolwb</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:36am<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:56pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:07am<b>caleb_ohs</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:25am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:37pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:53pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:13am<b>deutschmadchen</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:01pm

Liked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:53am<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:34pm<b>xpolymer</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:51am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:07pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:42pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:30am<b>zsaddayz</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:09pm

cocainewhore's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (7346)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (3819)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (7292)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (13382)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (7093)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (2472)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8300) - you deserved it (27614)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (3977)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (2378)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6254) - you deserved it (83492)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (38360)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (7299)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: