Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cocainewhore

Online | Search for a member

cocainewhore

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7396
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:51am<b>Damafia</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:56pm<b>RA91</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:35pm<b>jomar_19</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:40pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:30pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:37am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:14am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:27pm<b>tuxedotitan</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:36am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:45am<b>MrPigg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:32pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:11pm<b>tori4626</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:27pm<b>b3altena</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:08pm<b>yoimtrollin</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:08pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:45pm<b>tori4626</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:27pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:53am<b>shouldntbehere</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:34pm<b>xpolymer</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:51am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:07pm<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:42pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:30am<b>zsaddayz</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:09pm

cocainewhore's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (2023)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7765) - you deserved it (55675)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremly selfish person, and that I do not love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a backrub in 2 weeks, sleep too much and have a hormonal problem. Once again, I AM PREGNANT! FML

#8684700
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (5206)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:17am - health - by ksztte (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52513) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19449) - you deserved it (3636)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML

#8646489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12171) - you deserved it (41106)

On 02/25/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by MUemma (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (29907)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (38353)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (5258)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33948) - you deserved it (3272)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (7358)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (3823)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (7467)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: