Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (25 minutes ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10112
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About cocainewhore : Heavy fucking metal.

cocainewhore's page activity

Visits<b>beeferjay</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:05am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:17am<b>Cameron05233250</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:43pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:34pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:33am<b>Celion91</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:35pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:41am<b>Nat52482</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:08am<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:09am<b>Noob64</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:46pm<b>mct_1087</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:43pm<b>ballislife2324</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:54pm<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 2:23pm<b>lexred</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:15am

Fucked!<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:32pm<b>lexred</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:59pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Noob64</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:33am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:55am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:26pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:53pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:50am<b>Holijust</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 10:48pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:28am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:08am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 3:02am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:45pm

cocainewhore's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of cocainewhore's badges

cocainewhore's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42162) - you deserved it (5935)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML


I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (58595)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (3930)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (36014)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (4667)

On 06/20/2010 at 7:37pm - love - by Anony Mous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61740) - you deserved it (7572)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (7067)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (9451)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34925) - you deserved it (7517)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49796) - you deserved it (14450)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (262647)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (3910)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: