Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

badassmf1234

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

badassmf1234

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11151
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

badassmf1234's page activity

Visits<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:03pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:08am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Ashfyr</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:41pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:30pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:29pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:31am<b>Wrex</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:37pm<b>JulietVoltora</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:14am<b>Ari3l</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:06pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:37pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:07pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:28pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:01pm

Fucked!<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:11pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:27pm

badassmf1234's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of badassmf1234's badges

badassmf1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (3163)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (2278)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
120 comments

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (5519)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (2327)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (2595)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML

#21290636
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (24867)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:38pm - work - by demotivator (woman) - Romania (Timis)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41336) - you deserved it (12405)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (6708)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (4654)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: