Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

badassmf1234

Online | Search for a member

badassmf1234

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11710
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

badassmf1234's page activity

Visits<b>defqon2015</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Mas8394z</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:40pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:03pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:08am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:49pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Ashfyr</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:24pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:41pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:30pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:29pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:31am<b>Wrex</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:37pm<b>JulietVoltora</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:14am<b>Ari3l</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:06pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:37pm<b>cooltatgar</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:07pm

Fucked!<b>Mas8394z</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:40am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:11pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:31am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:41am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:27pm

badassmf1234's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of badassmf1234's badges

badassmf1234's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (1298)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1523)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (1566)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

#21447549
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by rissa5214 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (2408)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (2219)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (2206)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (4199)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

#21442664
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (6164)

On 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by jealousgirl - United Kingdom

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

#21442530
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (1512)

On 07/16/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (7328)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: