About badassmf1234 : Engaged to the most amazing girl in the world. I love my Emily. Work in the construction field. Hoping to finish school to become a draftsman. I snowmobile in the winter and mountain bike in the summer. Love being by the lake. Canadian beer is the best! It takes six beers to get piss drunk, but you it takes nine! Suckers
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badassmf1234's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
by Cow lover / 10/12/2016 at 10:13am / United States (New York) / Love
by TooPoorForPrivateUni / 10/09/2016 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Merton) / Money
by Rejected / 10/03/2016 at 12:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
by anonymous / 10/01/2016 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by ashleighsheba / 09/27/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
by nopenopenopenope / 09/22/2016 at 11:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
by dazedandconfused / 09/18/2016 at 5:44am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza / 09/13/2016 at 5:17pm / United States / Transportation
by Nic / 09/13/2016 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by CoolGuy69 / 09/12/2016 at 7:53am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Transportation
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
by mista hunna / 09/08/2016 at 1:31am / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML
by mymidlifecrisis / 09/08/2016 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML
by Thatgirl112 / 09/07/2016 at 11:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.
by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 11:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…