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YBae's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by pantless / 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML
by M1CHA3L_MY3RZ / 03/01/2016 at 8:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 12:28pm / United States / Love
Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML
by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/25/2016 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by thrill house / 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Dexter_39476 / 01/24/2016 at 12:40am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:40am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
by Well, shit / 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate invited a couple of homeless gentlemen in to our house. After drinking all our beer, throwing up on our carpet, and repeatedly asking if we were planning on killing them, I asked them to leave. My roommate told them they're welcome back anytime. FML
by heart of cold / 01/11/2016 at 4:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
by notanightowlanymore / 01/05/2016 at 12:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my parents grounded me from anything remotely fun. How come? Because I got a 100% on my math… Today, I was arriving at my grandmas and when I met her she asked "Where's your girlfriend?" I told… Today, I decided to take the train to go to a summer camp a few cities away. I waited. And waited.…