About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by no / 06/24/2016 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by hellolaina / 06/24/2016 at 8:13pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my daughter posted a poem on Facebook about how her father and I abused her for years. It's a complete lie and an obvious attempt to impress her boyfriend, whom she thanked for "rescuing" her. I've received several hateful messages already, along with threats to report me to CPS. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML
by Crushgonewrong / 06/22/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
by hlewrn / 06/21/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML
by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was buried in texts from two of my bridesmaids about how much they hated their dresses. Dresses they helped pick. I can either be a bridezilla, put up with this for 4 more months, or ruin two friendships. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2016 at 3:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML
by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML
by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by thedancingtit / 06/07/2016 at 1:11am / United States (Alaska) / Kids
by Fido / 06/06/2016 at 7:58am / United States / Kids
Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML
by Revelyn / 06/03/2016 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous