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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1703
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BloodyHeel : Longtimelurker.

BloodyHeel's page activity

Visits<b>laranicolebaby</b> - yesterday at 1:01pm<b>stevenbro</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 8:38pm<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:09am<b>Donato123456</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:52pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:12am<b>BlueberryMofn</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:10am<b>ajaxbuds25</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 11:01pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:30am<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:13pm<b>MannyM</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:32pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:12pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:47pm<b>chicken_dip</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:26am<b>Wideout40</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:00am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:53am<b>Mackade</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>Carrie_Chaos</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:09am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:09pm

BloodyHeel's FML badges

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BloodyHeel's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

by bananaman / 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

by troublewithbleach / 04/05/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

by carolinagirl / 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

by unwanted / 03/19/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

by youshitme / 03/01/2011 at 7:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

by MBC / 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Money

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

by anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 4:54am / Work

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

by Brea / 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Geek