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Allusivness

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Allusivness

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Allusivness
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1427
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Allusivness : Derp.

Allusivness's page activity

Visits<b>stormkid</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:27pm<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:29pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:59pm<b>joechef99</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:26am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:55pm<b>perfect_insanity</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:31pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:19pm<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:43pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:49pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:40pm

Fucked!<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:19pm

Allusivness's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Allusivness's badges

Allusivness's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (5473)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (26532)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35831) - you deserved it (2995)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (7540)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (2893)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49331) - you deserved it (5586)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (2251)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (22725)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (14658)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (3475)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48317) - you deserved it (27439)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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