Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my parked car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop, all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
GuessWhatKids 13
Drugs are bad, mkay.
klc20071989_fml 20
If it was leaking antifreeze, then technically it was.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (239)
MissSoul 6
high or not, no one deserves that. I've eaten plates of noodles that were cooked for me by my boyfriends mother that were squirming because I was tripping balls on LSD
Merylwen 24
"Today, I tried acid"... I don't even need to read the rest. You SO deserved it.
Denizzje 5
Why? Its not completly clear for me but I am assuming she wasnt the one driving. The driver is the one at fault here, not the OP. Unless she was at the wheel at well, then they were both at fault.
Merylwen 24
To begin with, it's her car, so it's very likely that she was the one driving. I don't believe that she had no responsibility in the accident while she was on acid. And even if she wasn't driving, she complains that "I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze." How is that not her fault for being on acid?
SuperDanielNL 23
Because she stated she was camping, and the driver hit her car, not her.
Denizzje 5
It is not smart to do that without a sober person with you yes, as you obviously are not able to speak and think clearly while on Acid. That is a fault of her. As I said, if she was driving: YDI. If her car was parked somewhere however and she was at the camp, well its that drunk idiot fault as he was driving under influence, not her.
RZW 10
67. The words of someone more 'holy than thou'
narkill 13
Did you even read the fml?
Ki11erC 18
Says nothing about OP driving, just someone smashing into their car.
DSfriscoe 2
So apparently i can take cyanide right? don't worry, ill take it in moderation.
Denizzje 5
I never heared of recreational cyanide. But hey, stuff has so many names these days ;).
Mr_Satan 11
I wouldn't recommend it, but if you want to kill yourself, what right do we have to stop you?
SuperDanielNL 23
I say go for it, the planet is over populated anyways.
maarkblack 9
Hopefully you had some Xanax bars to chill out. Because I would have been freaking the **** out!
uniquechic21 12
While I personally think drugs are bad, I fully believe people should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as they are harming no one. However, OP still made the decision to do acid and therefore deserved having to talk to a cop while hallucinating. If she was driving though, she deserved a lot more because that would mean she was putting the lives of others in danger.
Denizzje 5
And the idiot who made the decision to go drunk driving and who actually wrecked her car deserves nothing? She was just enjoying herselves, so she deserves it to have to speak to a cop?
uniquechic21 12
The drunk driver definitely deserves plenty, but he isn't the one posting an FML. It's not about him. And it's not that OP deserves to talk to a cop. She deserves it that she was hallucinating and had this particular experience. You do drugs, that's what happens. You never know what might happen, when you might need to be thinking clearly, so that was her choice. Whether it's drugs or alcohol, I don't feel bad when people do stupid things or get into stupid situations while using them simply because it was their choice, knowing that these things affect how you think. If I did something stupid while drinking or under the influence, I wouldn't expect pity either.
uniquechic21 12
And if she wasn't driving at all and her car was parked off the road, then it's not her fault her car was hit. But it seems to me the real point of the FML is about her being on acid and thinking her car was bleeding green ooze while talking to a cop. THAT is what she deserves.
XanderJayNix 17
Am I the only one who read this as OP's car getting totaled while it was parked, and that the acid was only instrumental in how they visualized and explained it to the cops?
Mr_Satan 11
Nope, I'm with you there, but we're definitely in the minority on that
RZW 10
114 I'm backing you
assassinbanana0 20
This one tugs me at both ends.. YDI because come on, acid? You're better than that, at least I hope. You don't have to do drugs. It really doesn't help you at all in life FYL, though, for that drunk driver hitting your car. I hope you learned your lesson, OP.
love_me_electric 20
Drinking alcohol doesn't help you in life either, if OP had said they were drinking beer around the fire would you still be inclined to say YDI? So many people judge those who do drugs, but they don't realize that alcohol is just as bad (sometimes worse) than many illegal drugs.
TheMathMajor 26
Oh come on, people do things all the time that don't help them in life. Does reading FMLs better you in any way? That's a silly reason to be against trying a drug. It's just drilled into our brains from a very young age that drugs=bad and people don't even think about what they're saying. Coffee is a drug for crying out loud. Just because society sees a particular drug as bad doesn't actually mean it is harmful if you are responsible with it.
rety1 13
Wow what is it with so many people hating on Op simply because they were on acid. Its not like its really harmful if you use your head. In fact it would take nearly a cup of pure lysergic acid diethylamide to overdose, and given the right setting and state of mind its hallucinogenic effects are no more dangerous than looking through a kaleidoscope..
horneyhic 15
It's only ever happened once and they can't even confirm the LSD caused the death but as the person took 3000x the normal dose it's likely